Chapter 19

TL: Chaos

ED: Mateo

[Spicy illust included, but not full on spicy]

Barging in while I’m in the bath, and sleeping together without me being aware of it… Erika-chan’s actions are very hard to keep in check. I don’t know if it’s because we just became lovers, but it’s very troubling for me, who wants to have a wholesome relationship.

——I need to have a proper talk with her, to make her understand that…

We’re in a relationship, and I want to properly accept Erika-chan’s feelings, and I want to have a mutually satisfying relationship with her. If I don’t put those feelings into words, they won’t be conveyed.

I made up my mind to talk to Erika-chan when I got back, and I started preparing to go to my tutoring part-time job.

Spending time with Erika-chan is important, but I also want to work hard for my future. I want to have money to buy books and go on dates, and I also want to acquire the teaching skills necessary to be a teacher.

“——Okay! I’m gonna get pumped up and go to my part-time job!”

I grabbed my bag full of textbooks and handouts and left the room.

It was around 5 pm when I got home that day.

There were no shoes at the door, and I knew immediately that there was no one in the house.

“Erika-chan must have gone out too…”

I couldn’t find Erika-chan’s shoes anywhere, which made me feel a bit dejected.

——I wanted to see her as fast as possible, so I hurried home but… perhaps the timing wasn’t right?

There was no one in my room either. There was no sign of someone having been there at all. I wondered if anyone was reading manga or lying down on my bed without permission.

Thinking of that, I felt a little lonely today.

Maybe I ruined her mood because I pushed her away from the bath and this morning. I felt anxious.

Maybe she lost her affection for me…

No, I don’t think that’s the case with Erika-chan. If she ended up disliking me because of that, she would have given up easily when I rejected her confession once.

——The fact that I’m feeling this depressed over it, probably goes to show just how much I’ve fallen in love with Erika-chan.

The figure of Erika-chan popped into my head. She was always full of energy and expressed her love for me with her whole body.

Just thinking about Erika-chan’s smile brings a warmth to my heart. As long as Erika-chan is smiling beside me, I think I can hold myself back until she graduates from high school but… I wonder if Erika-chan and I feel differently.

Later, at six o’clock, my parents came home. But even by seven or eight o’clock, neither Mana nor Erika-chan came home.

I waited anxiously for Erika’s return, but after I ate dinner and took a bath, I became extremely sleepy.

Studying requires a lot of brainpower on the part of the teacher as well as the student. When I was dealing with high school students who were preparing for entrance exams, I too became enthusiastic and exhausted.

——Maybe, I’ll sleep for a while…

She didn’t seem to be back yet, so I decided to sleep while waiting.

I turned off the light and dazedly walked over to my bed. I threw myself down on it and almost fell asleep. I managed to crawl over and position my head on the pillow and close my eyes without pulling the futon over my head.

As I listened to the sound of the second hand of the clock echoing faintly in the room, my consciousness quickly faded away.

——*clack*

I was asleep when a small noise reached my ears. It seemed to be the sound of a door being closed. At the same time, I felt the presence of someone in the room.

The light from a nearby street lamp leaked through the curtains of the window. Thanks to this, the room was not completely dark, but dimly lit. And since I had been asleep earlier and was used to night vision, I immediately recognized the person there.

——Erika-chan?

The one standing in the middle of the room was Erika-chan.

Why did she come here?

I stared at Erika-chan, thinking in my half-asleep mind. Erika hadn’t yet noticed that I was awake.

——Come to think of it, I was waiting for Erika-chan’s return so I could talk to her…

As my head slowly began to turn after waking up from sleep, I remembered what I had been thinking about before going to bed. However, I thought that if I woke up suddenly, I might startle her, so I kept pretending to be asleep and looked for the right moment to wake up.

What should I do?

As I was pondering, Erika moved. Seeing that, I felt even more stuck in place.

Because, in the middle of the room, Erika-chan… started taking off her clothes.

She took off her shorts and T-shirt and stripped down to her underwear. Because I couldn’t see her well, Erika-chan’s silhouette was very weirdly beautiful and lascivious.

“Tsukasa…”

Erika-chan approached me, calling my name. I frantically pretended to be asleep.

“Tsukasa… Hey, wake up.”

A weight was added to the edge of the bed. Then I felt Erika-chan’s hot breath on my face.

“…Let’s do it?”

I was startled by what she said, and my eyes flew open.

“Ah, great. You woke up.”

Erika-chan was before my eyes, smiling. She was overlooking me, as if examining my expression.

Erika-chan shyly touched my cheek, and her hand slid straight down and caressed my nape.

“I’m your girlfriend so… isn’t it fine? I want to do it.”

Even in the dark, I could see that Erika’s lips were bewitchingly moist. The wistful expression on her face made my body hot.

If I reach out, I can touch Erika-chan’s body. I can put my feelings into that smooth, soft body.

But that’s not what I want to do right now.

I should’ve told her properly before she did this. This… is my responsibility.

I raised my upper body and sat on the bed. Erika-chan was on her knees and hands on the bed, staring at me.

“Erika-chan… sorry. I can’t do it right now.”

“…………Why?”

Erika-chan’s voice was stiff and a little angry.

“Do you… Do you know how much courage I had to summon in order to do this?”

I felt the stifled anger and sadness in her quiet voice.

“I know…”

“Lies. You don’t understand at all. If you really knew, you’d hug me right now…”

“That…”

“You want to have a wholesome relationship, right? You don’t have to do it with me, but at least embrace me close to you. You can at least do that much, right?”

I felt like I shouldn’t hesitate. If I’m slow by even a second, I’ll definitely hurt Erika-chan’s trust. Thinking that… I embraced Erika-chan.

My hands were stuck on her slightly sweaty skin. Erika-chan’s chest was pushing up against my chest, and I could feel the rapid beating of her heart. Her sweet fragrance tickled my nostrils. Soft and warm… It was pleasant just embracing her.

And how lovely…

The various emotions that flooded my brain just by hugging her. It was an overwhelming amount of heat that transcended reason.

Then why wasn’t my reason defeated right there and then…? It was the desire to cherish Erika-chan until the very end that kept my reason intact.

“Listen here… Erika-chan.”

When I deliberately whispered into her ear, Erika-chan’s body jumped.

“I’ll say it frankly, so listen carefully.”

“Nn…”

After confirming that Erika-chan nodded slightly, I continued.

“You see… Right now, I’m holding back a lot.”

“Eh?”

“What… did you really think that I didn’t feel anything?”

“Yeah. Because… you still won’t do anything to me.”

“Don’t underestimate me. I really want to kiss Erika-chan right now, I really want to hug you closer, and um… I want to do a lot of other things.”

“I-is that so?”

“Of course. If my cute girlfriend comes in front of me in that appearance and says, ‘Let’s do it?’ and ‘I want to do it,’ there’s no way I wouldn’t feel anything… So Erika-chan, do you know why I won’t go beyond that?”

“I don’t. I don’t know, that’s why… I thought you didn’t have any interest in my body, I became anxious, that’s why I did this to try and make sure of Tsukasa’s feelings!”

“I do have interest. Of course I do. But… I want to cherish Erika-chan.” [TLN: semp died for this.]

“Cherish?”

Erika-chan asked me..

I replied while gently holding Erika-chan in my arms.

“I too want to hug Erika-chan and convey my love to you. But, that also comes with risks. Erika-chan is still a high school student, so I don’t think I want to take that risk and make love to you.”

“Risk… you mean having a child, right? I… I don’t mind if it’s Tsukasa.”

“I’m glad you said that. But if that happens, Erika-chan might have to drop out of high school. I might have to quit college and start working right away. We might be able to get by somehow or another then, but what about in a few years, or ten years? When my kids grow up, would I have enough income to support my family…?

“Are you thinking that far ahead… Tsukasa?”

“I think that there are people who can protect their families and dreams in those times. But I… I’m not good at those haphazard things. I have to worry about whether or not I can properly protect the things I want to protect.”

As I said that, Erika-chan squirmed in my arms.

When I let go of her hand, she pulled away from me and sat upright on the bed.

“…I want to stay with Tsukasa forever.”

“Yeah…”

“I was happy that we were going out, but I got anxious thinking what would happen if you cast me away, that’s why I thought that if I did this, I’d be able to be with Tsukasa forever…”

“Yeah… I’m sorry I couldn’t get rid of that anxiety faster.”

When I apologized, Erika-chan shook her head.

“No, I should be the one apologizing. I didn’t really understand what Tsukasa meant by a wholesome relationship. I felt like you were just casting me aside. Even though… you love me this much, I’m such a moron…”

I felt even more apologetic when I saw Erika-chan’s depressed face.

“No, it was my fault. I should have explained it like this from the beginning.”

“No no, it was my fault! Normally… I think people would’ve guessed it. But I’m an idiot who can’t understand anything unless it’s explained to me from A to Z!”

“No no no! I made you anxious!”

“No no no! I didn’t believe in Tsukasa!”

We were both apologizing to each other, saying that it was our fault, then the laughter started welling up…

We exchanged glances, and started laughing.

“Then, Sometimes… is it fine if I hug you tightly?”

“I’ll do it any time, as long as you’re dressed.”

“Fufufu. I see. But, it feels good to have someone touch your bare body, so it’s a shame…”

“I’m holding back, so you should hold back properly too.”

“Alright~”

Erika-chan replied reluctantly. Then, she looked at me and smiled.

“Tsukasa, won’t you stop calling me by ‘Erika-chan’ already? I feel like I’m still being treated like a little sister.”

“Ah, really? Then… Erika.”

“Yeah. That’s nice. Now I really feel like Tsukasa’s girlfriend.”

Erika-chan… No, Erika smiled boldly and brought her face close to mine.

And like that, our lips overlapped.

The soft sensation was pleasant. I could feel Erika’s feelings for me coming through it, and they seemed to run through my whole body.

“Really, is it fine to not go beyond this? You’re getting hard though?”

Erika-chan smiled wickedly.

“Since you’ve confirmed that my reproductive functions are normal, you can be satisfied for today.”

“Hmm~? Then, I’ll have to do a periodic check up. For the sake of my future husband.”

“Please give me a break…”

Erika, who was smiling in front of me, was not an angel, nor was she a little devil, nor a yankee. She was just a normal girl.

She was raised without parental love and without common sense, but she is a strong girl who believes in a bright future. She is the person who saved my sister, the cute girl who fell in love with me… and now she is my lover who I want to cherish for the rest of my life.

For this to have happened… I’m sure if I got in a time machine, and told the Tsukasa of a few months back, there’s no way he would believe me.

[ED: This chapter was spicy…]