Please Tell Me How to Remember Love - Chapter 1 Part 6
Chapter 1 Part 6
Kashiki Minoru started to draw for a simple reason.
Back when he was in preschool, he drew a portrait of his favorite teacher and that teacher praised him for it. It made him proud, so he started to draw more from then on.
Though he didn’t remember whether the portrait was actually good or not. The teacher could have only given him empty flattery, but that didn’t matter. To young Minoru at that time, the praise was enough to motivate him to start drawing more.
“Can you draw me this character?”
“Minoru-kun is really good at drawing!”
“Amazing! Can you draw this one next?”
By the time he became a grade schooler, his drawing had improved to the point that everyone around him recognized him as a ‘good artist.’ Drawing had become his trademark to the point that his friends would often ask him to draw various anime characters.
At his age, just being able to draw was enough for everyone around him to put him on a pedestal.
Attractive, charismatic and athletic. Just having one of them would make you popular. But Minoru managed to be popular without any of those traits, so it was understandable that he’d want to hone his skills as much as possible.
Though, if there was one bad thing about Minoru, he didn’t have a good memory.
This was why he failed to remember the reason why not only he tried to draw ‘good pictures’ that were well-liked by everyone, but also simple sketches and compositions that he was particularly weak at drawing. The reason why he spent most of his allowance on art supplies.
Minoru was unable to remember the reason why he desperately wanted to finish a certain drawing.
“See? I told you. You won’t be able to remember me until you finish drawing me.”
All he could remember was the vague words a certain someone said to him.
He kept painting for so long, just to prove that person’s words were wrong. To prove to that person, whose name and face he had long forgotten, that he could finish that drawing.
In middle school, he realized that his talent wasn’t anything special, but that didn’t stop him.
Even when he was clearly beaten by a certain ‘monster’ in the same club as him in high school, he still didn’t waver.
It wasn’t pretty ideals that kept Minoru from shelving his brushes away, but his stubborn pettiness, something that he would never say out loud with pride.
“I’ll never forget you because I love you. That’s why, I’ll definitely finish your painting.”
The reason why he decided to paint Reina was also because of this stubbornness. At first, painting her was merely an excuse that he used to get closer to her, but that was no longer the case. A different feeling bloomed inside Minoru’s heart. He wanted to do something about the words of resignation she uttered. His stubbornness was the source of his motivation to carry out that goal.
* * *
Back to the present. In front of Minoru was a blank canvas.
“…Ugh.”
His pencil was on his hand, yet the pointy lead failed to find its way to the white canvas. Meanwhile, time was running like water.
It was not like he forgot what Reina looked like. He managed to preserve her figure and form by visiting her every day. In fact, he could perfectly picture her in his mind even when she wasn’t present by his side. The lovely smile that she presented was clear in his memory.
Despite that, the pencil in his hand failed to turn the Reina in his memory into a beautiful painting. Minoru found himself unable to move. Whenever he tried to paint anything other than Reina, he was able to do it with ease, but whenever it was Reina he tried to draw, he became like this.
“It’s time, Kashiki-kun. Go home.”
Before he realized, his club time was over and it was time for him to go home.
Hearing the words came out from his taciturn advisor’s mouth, Minoru staggered to his feet and began to clean up. The clean up didn’t take long. This was a given, as he ended up not painting anything on the canvas.
It was the third day after the day he declared to Reina that he’d paint her.
* * *
“I knew it. Okay, hear me out, Minoru… You see, Himuro Reina’s existence can never be recorded in anything. Not pictures, not paintings, not even videos…”
The fourth day, after school. When Minoru was walking to his clubroom with gloomy steps, Takayuki quickly stopped him and dragged him to Karin’s house.
There, with Reina’s cooperation, Takayuki showed him the results of his experiments.
It was regarding the true nature of the urban legend, ‘Dareka-san.’
“This case is something that defies logic, got it? This isn’t a you problem, it’s just the way it is. In fact, even if I were the one who’d try to paint her, I wouldn’t be able to do it, even with Kuramori’s help. Tell me, Himuro, are you doing this on purpose?”
“Oh my, that’s so mean of you to accuse me like that. Do I look like such an evil person?”
Minoru began to think about Takayuki’s and Reina’s words.
‘It’s impossible, you said? Then, what should I do? Should I just give up?’ He thought. Somehow, they made him feel irritated.
“That’s why, Minoru, you need to change your mindset. What you’re trying to paint isn’t a ‘human being,’ but an ‘urban legend.’ It will be impossible for you to draw her if you keep thinking in the realm of common sense. To paint her, you need to have the mindset that you’re a great painter trying to achieve the impossible. If you can’t do that, then you would never be able to even paint her hair.”
Hearing those words, Minoru scolded himself inwardly for his own pettiness.
Even though the person he wanted to paint was someone that he loved, he was unable to come up with that idea himself. He was about to voice that thought, but he immediately swallowed his words. Trying to suppress his self-deprecation, Minoru bit his lower lip and spoke.
“Got it, leave it to me, Takayuki. I swear I’ll become the best painter in this world for her. At least when I’m painting her portrait.”
“Um, hearing your promise feels a little burdenful for me, you see…”
However, his promise was rejected without a second thought by the person he promised to.
That was what happened on the fourth day.
* * *
The pencil ran across the canvas, creating an outline of Reina.
Takayuki’s advice worked wonders. With the mindset of him being a great painter constantly drilled into his mind, Minoru managed to pick up his pencil and filled the canvas with the lines he envisioned. The memory loss’ phenomenon had subsided somehow and he managed to remember Reina’s appearance.
Even so, Minoru’s expression wasn’t bright.
“…Sh*t.”
He let out a swear word as he erased the lines that he had just drawn, clearly he wasn’t satisfied with them. Drawing, swearing, erasing. The three activities made a cycle, turning the once pure white canvas black and unusable.
While he managed to draw the outlines of her appearance, the more he drew her, the more he felt that his drawing didn’t match the Reina that he remembered.
“It’s still not enough?…”
Minoru let out a loud sigh as he drew a big ‘X’ over the outline that he had previously drawn.
The other members of the club, who had been watching him, followed suit and let out a deep breath, as if they had been released from the tension.
Originally, the other members were busy painting their own paintings in the clubroom. However, the uncanny vigor that Minoru had when he faced the canvas in front of him drew their attention. Actually, they were overwhelmed by it.
Most of the club members were vexed by this, but none of them dared to come forward and ask him the reason why.
“Kashiki-kun, Kashiki-kun. Are you stuck in a rut?”
Though, there is an outlier who blatantly laughed at him and called him out.
“For someone who’s so good in drawing portraits, you seem to be struggling, hm?~”
“…I’m busy. Can you tease me about it later, Akanashi?”
Akanashi was a petite female student wearing overalls. Combine her height with her bob-cut hair and baby face, it was easy to mistake her as a grade schooler. Despite her appearance, the words that came out of her mouth were filled with arrogance.
“You look like a fool trying to paint in the air. You seem to be trying to draw something that you can’t draw but your stubbornness keeps you going. It’s not a bad thing per se, but is your stubbornness the only reason you’re doing this?”
“!”
Not only were the words filled with arrogance, they also hit where it hurts.
“Hehe, look at that face, I’m right on the money, aren’t I? Anyway, hear me out. ‘If you can’t paint, just try to paint’ is an effective method for painting something in general, but I can tell that what you’re trying to paint is an important thing to you. That method won’t cut it. Instead of relying on it, you should think about it once again from a fundamental level. Think about the reason why you started painting in the first place. Also, if you’re worried about what the other person might think when the result turns out to be bad, then just tell them, ‘So what? I’m not good enough, okay? F**k you.’”
The arrogant smile on the girl’s cute face struck Minoru’s heart. Her words pointed out exactly what he was worried about.
“That’s new. I never knew you’re able to give other people advice, Akanashi.”
“I was asked by my cute kouhai, that’s why I even bothered to do that. I’ll do anything to make them feel indebted to me, even if it’s something I don’t usually do. Though, if my advice was wrong, I won’t take any responsibility.”
After she finished giving her advice, the female student called Akanashi returned to work on her own painting.
Before this, he felt depressed, but after hearing that advice, life returned to Minoru’s eyes. Standing tall in front of a new canvas, he ran his pencil across it.
“I’ll give my thanks to you after I finish this painting.”
On the fifth day after his declaration, Minoru finally managed to remember the reason why he started painting.
* * *
The sixth day. Minoru decided to skip school and stayed inside the garage of his house. He went as far as to kneel down in front of his parents and asked them to tell the school that he was sick.
That was how serious he was about finishing the painting.
“It’s fine. I can do it.”
Muttering that to himself, Minoru picked up his pencil.
The words weren’t only from his stubbornness, but it also came from his desire to keep his promise to Reina.
He wanted to draw her smiling. To surprise her, holding the finished painting in his hand, puffing his chest out proudly and throwing her something along the lines of ‘how’s that?’ And more importantly, if he was able to finish the painting, he wanted it to be the trigger to wipe out the sad smile from her face.
Yes. The real reason why Minoru wanted to paint Reina was that childish. He only wanted to make the person that he loved happy.
Even if in the end, he wouldn’t be able to be together with her, it would be enough as long as he knew that she was happy.
“It’s fine… It’s fine… I can do this…”
He could feel a sharp pain in his heart, but he decided that the pain wouldn’t be enough to stop him. Enduring the pain, he turned it into motivation. The more pain that he felt, the more vivid the picture he envisioned in the canvas.
Actually, Minoru hadn’t forgotten about Reina at all even though it had been a full day since he had last seen her. Instead of trying to meet her again, he spent his time scribbling through the canvas, finishing most of the rough sketch that he had in mind. If all went well, he planned to finally pick up his brush by the end of the day.
“Alright, let’s do this!”
While enduring the pain, Minoru started to draw. His determination was clear as he even forgot to sleep and eat.
He never stopped drawing. Occasionally, his pace would slow down, but he didn’t stop. Minoru spent all day concentrating on his drawing, save for the time when he had to quench his thirst or went to the bathroom. And before he realized it, it was already the seventh day.
* * *
“Oi, Minoru. Your parents told me to feed you with something somehow– You, take a bath first– No, get some light meal first.”
Morning of the seventh day. Takayuki’s voice brought Minoru to his senses.
Seeing him in plain clothes made Minoru remember that today was a holiday.
“Alright… But not now… I have to finish this first… After I’m done with my sketch, I’ll eat as much food as my stomach could allow… Can you wait for me?…”
“…I can, but what are you trying to sketch without a pencil in your hand?”
Minoru realized that his pencil wasn’t in his hand when Takayuki pointed it out to him.
‘That was strange.’ He thought as he tilted his head. After all, he had been holding one just a while ago. Then he realized that all the pencils around him were in pieces.
“Right… I couldn’t sketch because I ran out of pencils… That’s why… That’s why… No…”
Minoru muttered something incomprehensible for a while, but he quickly came to his senses as he let out a wry smile.
“Takayuki. I can’t do it. I can’t paint her.”
“That so?”
“I made a promise to her, but I can’t fulfill it. Even though I was so close…”
“…I see.”
Next to Minoru, who was struggling in anguish was a nicely drawn sketch. However, the ‘face’ part of the sketch was missing. He was unable to draw Reina’s face.
“I almost finished it, but I just couldn’t continue it. The reason why I started to paint her was to make her smile, to paint her beautiful smile… But, something inside me stopped me from doing so… My ugly selfishness and jealousy… Thoughts like, ‘maybe if I can finish this painting, she’ll agree to go out with me.’ Or, ‘why are you going this far for someone who doesn’t even look at you?’ Even stupid thoughts like, ‘who is the person that she has in mind? Will she look at my painting together with that person?’”
Minoru spit out those words frustratingly as he brushed off his hair.
It was his own feelings that made him unable to continue the painting. The lingering attachment he had toward her that had been gnawing at his heart.
“Why am I so pathetic?… I thought I’m a better person than this… I’m not saying that I didn’t have any ulterior motives, not at all. But, I genuinely wish to make her happy. I thought I’m able to kill my feelings for that reason…”
Minoru lamented on his own incompetence.
“Takayuki, it hurts. It hurts so much. I know that if I were able to endure this pain, I’d be able to keep my promise to her, but it’s so painful…”
“…Then, just stop. You don’t need to go this far. You’re heartbroken either way anyway. Even if you give up now, no one will reproach you.”
At Takayuki’s kind words, Minoru shook his head. Without any hesitation. Despite the wry smile that he wore and the awkward movements of his hand as he scratched his head.
“Takayuki, that’s just wrong. There’s someone who’ll reproach me if I were to give up now. Myself. I’d live with self-hatred toward my pathetic self who couldn’t even fulfill a simple promise. That’s why, even though it’s painful, I have to continue… Seriously, why am I this weak? If only I were stronger, I’d definitely be able to kill my feelings and…”
Minoru spat out his selfish words, as if he was praying for a miracle to happen. Too bad for him that the miracle he wished for had already happened.
The fact that he was able to get this far to complete Himuro Reina’s painting was already a miracle in itself. As a payment for that miracle, he had to endure the pain he was currently experiencing. No more miracles could have happened. His wish could never come true.
“…Are you sure about that?”
“Huh?”
But, miracles weren’t the only way to grant Minoru’s wish.
There was something else, something much more different than a miracle.
“If you were able to abandon your feelings for her, are you sure you’re able to fulfill your promise to her? Can you really finish that painting?”
Minoru was being questioned by Takayuki, who carried a different atmosphere than usual.
Like a demon, or perhaps an angel. The expression on Takayuki’s eyes made one think of him as a being that was created to test people.
“…”
At this unusual sight, Minoru was unable to say anything.
‘What are you on about?’ Normally, he’d be able to brush him off with those words. However, Minoru couldn’t do that. He knew that if he were to say that to him at this moment, the conversation would be over right there and then.
“Yes, I can.”
That was why he answered Takayuki’s question seriously.
“If I were able to throw this feeling away, I’m sure I’ll be able to finish the painting.”
Hearing Minoru’s answer, Takayuki asked him another question without averting his gaze.
“Even if you’ll never get that feeling back?”
It was clear that he didn’t ask that out of curiosity. He was testing Minoru’s determination. That was why Minoru didn’t run away. To show his resolve, he answered with his true feelings.
“Honestly, I’m scared… I’m afraid that I’ll never regain those feelings… But, at the same time I know that this outcome is inevitable. That person… Reina… Already dumped me… I can’t stay infatuated with her forever. I have to move on. One day, I’ll forget this feeling ever existed anyway and since that will be the case, I might as well forget about it now. Even if I have to erase this feeling, I want to fulfill my promise to her.”
The answer that came out of his mouth was one that filled with all the courage he could muster.
Normally, those kinds of words would never come out of his mouth. But, the one in front of him was Takayuki. Minoru knew that he was experienced in dealing with matters concerning love relationships since he was a consultant. He also knew that Takayuki was able to solve the most hopeless cases and heal the broken-hearted people while he was at it.
“That’s why, Takayuki… Tell me, what should I do?”
He knew that this was absurd. A part of him scoffed at himself for doing this even. Nevertheless, he asked Takayuki that question. Above all, he wanted to change the currently helpless situation.
“You don’t need to do anything special. Just let me fool you this once.”
What came out as a reply though, was a light answer alongside his usual fearless grin.
“Fool… Me?”
“Yeah. You just need to take my words seriously and accept whatever it is that I’m going to do to you. Don’t worry, I’m just going to cast some ‘magic’ on you. It won’t take long.”
Minoru tilted his head in confusion, but followed his instructions anyway and prepared himself. There weren’t many things to prepare though, as Takayuki only asked him to lean his back on the chair he was sitting on and focus his gaze forward.
“Is that it?… Uh It somehow feels underwhelming…”
“What did you expect? I’m not going to take out some dubious crystal balls or chant some long spells. Everything will be over in a jiffy, Minoru. I don’t need to do dubious stuffs just to cast my ‘magic.’”
As Minoru sent Takayuki a confused gaze, the latter’s fingertip touched his forehead.
And then, he triggered his power.
“Eating someone’s ‘love’ is as easy as taking candy from a baby.”
In order to eat his love and make his wish come true.
“So spicy, my tongue is going numb. It seems soft at a glance but the core is harder than it looks. It tastes like kata yakisoba that doesn’t get enough water. The taste of willpower and passion.”
Takayuki muttered those words with a wry smile.
No one but Takayuki could hear those words. The chirping of the birds coming from outside the garage covered them from any prying ears. After this, everyone’s everyday life would continue as if nothing had happened. Even if his power wasn’t in line with what everyone knew as ‘common sense,’ it wouldn’t change anything in the grand scheme of things.
His power wasn’t one that could change the world, but it was one that could change someone’s heart.
“Alright, your parents told me to make you stay asleep, but I guess I can’t fulfill that request. Take this as a special service since we’re friends, okay?”
Takayuki then shook Minoru’s shoulders, who fell asleep while laying on the back of his chair, trying to wake him up.
In his heart, he prayed that his ability could at least be useful for his friend.
* * *
When Minoru finished his sketch, he realized that he had forgotten something.
After spending the strange surge of vitality that he received, he felt somewhat empty. As he tilted his head to the side while wondering what was the cause for this feeling, his stomach let out a roar.
“…Hm? Ah, right, I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday’s lunch… Wait, I haven’t taken baths either. What the hell have I been doing?”
His shoulders shuddered at his own stupidity as he tried to stand up. After sitting for a long time, his body was stiff, so he stretched lighty before going to get his food.
“I’ll have to give Takayuki-kun my thanks for persuading this idiot.”
At the dining table. Minoru was heartily devouring his first meal of the day, much to his mom’s dismay.
When she mentioned Takayuki’s name, something clicked in Minoru’s mind. Earlier this morning, Takayuki came to check on him out of concern. At that time, they discussed a little about his painting and he gave him some really good advice.
Thanks to that, Minoru managed to finish the sketch that he had been struggling to draw for so long. His mom was right, he had to give his thanks to Takayuki later.
“Well, it’s still only a rough sketch…”
After showering, he went back to the garage.
He wasn’t planning to finish the painting now, though. Minoru planned to clean up the canvas before some stray cats came and messed it up. After that, he would be taking a break for a while.
“…Huh? Who are you?”
That was when he found out that a girl was standing in front of said canvas in the garage.
“Oh my, hello. Nice to meet you.”
“Eh? Um… Nice to meet you?”
When Minoru called out to her, she greeted her with a gentle smile. It happened so naturally that he couldn’t help but return her greetings.
“Sorry to interrupt you so suddenly. When I passed by, I saw you working really hard on this painting, so I was curious to see what it looks like.”
“Ah, I-I see. U-Um… Thank you?”
The girl had white hair and bright red eyes. Her appearance looked beautiful and somewhat nostalgic to Minoru. He tilted his head. This should be their ‘first meeting’, but he felt a strange feeling of deja vu.
“Hehehe, that’s funny. I should be the one who’s thanking you.”
“Huh?”
When he heard her giggles, Minoru finally noticed something. The girl looked so similar to the sketch that he had drawn. Even though the sketch was supposed to be something that came from his own imagination, it looked so alike to the girl that if she were to sue him for using her face without permission, he’d have no proper argument against it.
“By the way, is this painting finished?”
“Ah, no. Rather, it barely began. I still have to actually paint it, waiting for the paint to dry, add more layers to it and so on.”
“Oh my, what a shame. I bet it’ll be a really beautiful painting when it’s done.”
Were the words uttered because she felt proud due to how pretty she looked on the painting? Or was it a genuine compliment from the girl? Maybe it was mere sarcasm? As Minoru was contemplating that, the girl turned on her heels and walked somewhere.
“But still, thank you, Minoru-kun. You kept your promise.”
She turned around to give Minoru a last dazzling smile before walking away with a light step.
“…I…see…”
After the girl walked away, Minoru sat down in front of the canvas while muttering.
“I finally kept my promise, huh?”
He didn’t even understand what he was muttering about. Nevertheless, the satisfaction that he felt was real.
After all, the happiness in the smile that the girl gave him was genuine.
* * *
“Everything turned out well, didn’t it, Rei-Onee-chan?”
“Yes, yes it did, Rin-chan.”
After leaving Minoru’s house, the white haired girl returned to Karin’s house, which was located nearby. She could say with confidence that she managed to part ways with Minoru cleanly, but now that she was at the front of her own doorstep, the embarrassment caught up to her.
“Whenever Minoru-Onii-chan is painting something, you have the habit of watching him secretly.”
“Hm hm? What are you trying to say?”
“Nothing. But, if you’re doing this out of concern for me, I’ll tell you that it’s unnecessary.”
Karin, who had been waiting for Reina while standing near the entrance, said that while sulking. In response, Reina happily hugged her with a bright smile on her face.
“Hehehe. I’m sorry. I know that I’m meddling unnecessarily, but you know, I’m doing this because I love you so much, Rin-chan.”
“…Hmph.”
“Hehehe, you don’t need to be shy~”
“…I’m not. Those people are here, Rei-Onee-chan.”
“Oh my.”
Hearing Karin’s words, Reina slowly turned her gaze toward her back.
There, Takayuki and Aoi were looking at her with a serious expression.
“What can I do for you? Ah, about Minoru-kun, once again, I’d like to thank—”
“Himuro Reina. You met her, didn’t you? The witch.”
In response to Takayuki’s blade sharp question, Reina’s smile didn’t fade. But, she slowly let Karin go before turning around to reply to him.
“Hehehe, yes, I did. Just like you did, Satou Takayuki-kun.”
Then, she took out a silver pocket watch and showed it to him. In response, Takayuki showed her his red hair clip.
No explanation was needed. They both understood that they were showing each other the medium they used to summon the witch.
“Seriously, I never woulda expected that there’s someone else who signed up for this sh*t.”
“Oh my. You think you’re a special case?”
“Yes. I’m a special kind of idiot, you see? Normally, I’d expect that I’m only one of a kind.”
“H-Hahaha… I guess you have a point.”
The two of them shook hands after they put away their mediums. However, this was by no means a sign of friendship.
“Once again, nice to meet you, Mister Love-Eating Monster.”
“Likewise, Forgettable Miss.”
Two people, both with powers that defied common sense, spoke and smiled at each other.
Both were keeping check on each other.
“Thank you for all the help you’ve given to Reina-san. Also, I’m sorry that I’ve been causing trouble for you.”
“Hehe, I’m not so petty that I’d hold a grudge on you after you’ve apologized like this. You’re with me, right, Satou-kun?”
““…U-Um, what?””
However, the tension between the two immediately dissipated as both of their partners started to converse amiably between themselves.
And thus, the two people connected with the supernaturals had met. And the unorthodox coming-of-age story had begun in earnest.
TL: Iyo
ED: Iyo