Ore wo Suki nano wa Omae dake ka yo - Chapter 2 Part 3

Chapter 2 Part 3

 

After school. As my classmates left the classroom, I lifted my bag, letting out a deep sigh.

 

Haah… Why? How did this happen?

 

I thought today I’d be pampered by those girls and received various envious gazes from everyone around me. With that, I could be considered as someone who transcended the riajuus, someone who transcended true happiness (I made that up)! But, the only word that I could use to describe my situation was SH*T.

 

Himawari flung my bag away, Cosmos tortured me with that whole a*s forest!

 

On top of it, my classmates were still giving me the cold shoulders!

 

What? How bad was the situation, you asked?

 

“Yay, I didn’t catch the Kisaragi Virus today!”

 

Mhm… Kisaragi Virus, huh, Girl A-san?

 

Wanna know something good? I always took care of my hygiene, so the virus was actually beneficial to you.

 

It could help you alleviate hay fever, allergy symptoms and…who I was kidding…ugh…

 

“Joro, I’ll be following you to the library. I still haven’t faced Pansy yet today.”

 

Give me a break already! I’ve already used up all my energy to deal with your antics throughout the morning and lunch break! Let me rest this time!

 

Pansy would occasionally spit out venom out of her mouth, but as long as I talked with her, she wouldn’t bring me harm!

 

I was planning to take it easy, talking to her while eating whatever sweets she was planning to give me, but—! Ugh, I just got angrier the more I mulled over it.

 

“You don’t need to help out at the store?”
“I don’t. They should be able to manage without me today.”

 

Oh, cr*p… It was this pattern again… The one where I’d be struck with a tragedy after school…

 

I needed to shake her off, or maybe I should just not go to the library today— No, I can’t.

 

It was my fault that things had turned out this way.

 

The whole showdown thing, if only I told them to stop, even if I had to be forceful while doing it, I coulda stopped it from happening.

 

But I kept up that st*pid mob act, and look where it got me!

 

It would be too much if I were to chase Tsubaki away because I didn’t like what she was doing when I was the one who encouraged her.

 

There was only one thing I could do here. Calm down and bring her to the library.

 

Besides, there was one thing that I wanted to ask her.

 

*   *   *

 

“Oh my, Joro-kun. You’re bringing Yoki-san with you today?”

“Mhm. I figured out I’d hang out here for today.”

 

I wonder why? They were talking calmly, but I actually got a chill running down my spine.

 

Was it that? The calm before storm thing? …Ugh, whatever, I deserved this anyway.

 

I’ve already made up my mind to face them properly, so I didn’t have the right to complain about what was about to happen.

 

What I should do here was to keep a cool head and accept everything that would happen. Before that though, I needed to confirm with Tsubaki about the thing that Pansy was talking about the other day…

 

“Tsubaki, I have something to ask you, can I…?”

 

As soon as we arrived at the reading area, I called out to Tsubaki.

 

I tried to act like usual, but I was really nervous deep inside. Would this turn out to be okay?

 

“Sure, but I’m not sure if I can answer you properly. You seem nervous, so it doesn’t seem like you’re going to ask a normal question…”

 

Ugh so sharp! I wouldn’t ask you anything strange though…

 

“I-It’s a normal question! I just want to ask which school you went to before you came here…”

“The school I went to? Asagiri High, it’s four stations away from here. Why do you ask, though?”

 

Ah, great, great! She didn’t go to that high school, great!

 

By the way, our school’s name was Nishikizuta High.

 

We didn’t have a south, east or north branch, only Nishikizuta. (T/N: The Nishi in the Nishikizuta meant west.)

 

“Nothing. There’s just this high school where the person I hate is going to. It’s great that you didn’t go there.”

“I see.”

 

When I asked that question, I was serious, you know? There really was someone I hated there. Well, I guess someone that Pansy hated was also there. In any case, it was good that she didn’t go to that school.

 

“I see. That’s good then.”

“Were you also curious about which school I went to, Pansy?”

“Yes.”

 

Oi, Pansy, why did you answer her, huh?! Now that she knew about this, she’d be curious about what was going on!

 

If she were to actually say, ‘Why did you ask?’ again, what were you gonna do, huh?!

 

“I see.”

 

Huh? She didn’t actually ask anything…

 

Maybe she could tell from the atmosphere that we exuded, so she opted not to ask?

 

If that was the case…my opinion of her would increase by a lot.

 

Anyway, that was that. The thing that Pansy and I were worried about was resolved rather quickly.

 

“Alright, it’s time, Pansy. It’s between me and you this time.”

“Sure.”

 

So it was finally starting. The punishment game (for me) between the two of them.

 

Oh no~ What would they do to me~?

 

“How much sugar do you need, Joro-kun? The same amount as usual? Today’s sweets are sweeter than usual, so you might want less.”

 

Ah, well, I don’t mind either way… Also, that was a surprisingly normal question…

 

“No, I’m fine with the usual amount, but why do you ask? Are you going to give me different sweets than during lunch?”

“Yes. I was excited for today, so I made another kind of sweets.”

 

Seemingly in a good mood, Pansy took out some macarons from her drawstring bag.

 

It was different from the ones she had given me before! Did she try out a new recipe?

“These aren’t the usual ones, are they…?”

“Yes. I tried to mix up different flavors, you see?”

 

Really? I’m looking forward to it now!

 

“Joro, aren’t you tired from all the classes today? Do you want me to give you a massage?”

“Hm? No, it’s fine. I’m not that tired…”

“Really? Well, just in case, I’ll help you relax.”

 

O-Oi! Before I could stop her, Tsubaki already scooted over to my back and massaged my shoulders. Ahh…this actually felt good~

 

Could it be…? This actually wasn’t a punishment game, but a reward for me?

 

“There are three different flavors inside, Joro-kun. Each color has different flavors.”

 

The macarons that she served on the plate had three different colors; White, yellow and purple.

 

When I saw those colors, it immediately clicked in my head. This…

 

“Huh…these are the colors of pansies…”

“Yes, so you noticed.”

“It’s just a coincidence. Anyway, let me take some of these.”

“Go ahead.”

 

I took the white one first and— That was SOOOO TASHHHTYYY!

 

As expected of Pansy, I guess! When it came to making sweets, she had no equals!

 

Seriously, she’d make a great pastry chef in the future!

 

“How is it?”

“It’s good!”

“Hehehe, then it’s worth all the love I put into it.”

 

She spewed out some nonsense as usual, but I could forgive her this time.

 

In any case, Pansy’s sweets were delicious, and Tsubaki’s massage felt good.

 

This place had turned into a paradise!

Yes! Yes! This was it! This was the kind of showdown that I wanted to experience!

 

It was worth holding out all day for this! Finally, I—

 

“Uwah! S-Sorry, Joro!”

 

Hm? What? Did you think that everything would turn south after she said that? Too bad, your prediction was wrong!

 

Tsubaki lost her balance and her body was sticking close to mine.

 

How should I put it? Her body had this unique softness in it.

 

Even though she had extremely lowest ‘excess flesh’ in some parts of her body, it still felt pleasant to touch her body.

 

Extremely lowest, yes, I made that term up as you could see.

 

At least up until May 31st 2016 I hadn’t seen that word listed in google search.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Tsubaki. Also, do you want some macarons too?”

“Sure, I’ll take one— but my hands are full. I’ll eat it later.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll feed you. Here, say ahh~”

“Mm. Thank you.”

 

Good job, me! Getting thanked once in a while felt good!

 

But, I still needed to show them that I wasn’t someone who only wanted to receive but never to give anything back.

 

“You look happy, Joro-kun.”

 

Oh, whoops, I needed to say something to Pansy.

 

Normally, I wouldn’t say something even remotely close to this, but I’ll make today an exception.

 

“Ah, that’s because your sweets are tasty, Pansy.”

“That means this is a draw for now… At this rate, the showdown wouldn’t end… That means, I have to bring out my secret weapon! Alright, here I go!”

 

What secret weapon? I was having so much fun already, so were you telling me that you had something else in stock?

“If that’s the case, then I’ll do the same.”

 

Huh? You too? No way! It was that, wasn’t it?

 

Will Pansy show me her true appearance again?

 

If that was the case, that would be bad for me! I wouldn’t be able to decide who’d be the winner!

 

The student council president and the childhood friend had been pretty much eliminated already, so they didn’t matter, but those two were pretty close right now!

 

In other words, the winner would be decided by whatever it was that they two would be doing. Gulp.

 

“Hm… Well, do whatever you guys like.”

 

The key here was to stay calm and feign disinterest!

 

If I were to show my excitement, chances were it would backfire on me!

 

“Okay, I’ll get ready.”

“Me too. Please wait a moment.”

 

Huh? Pansy was one thing, but Tsubaki was walking away too? Was she about to change her clothes too?

 

Could it be…? It was that, wasn’t it?! 

 

The maid uniform! The one that every high school boy would dream about and always appeared in romcom animes, but it had the same appearance rate as Final Fusion? Almost 0% chance?! (T/N: Gaogaigar’s final fusion, the author is so based.)

 

Well, f**k probabilities! Those weren’t real!

 

You could achieve anything with courage and willpower!

 

Oh cr*p, I got too excited! I needed to calm down. Let’s start thinking about something unimportant. Or I could just write a π on my palm and swallow it— (T/N: It should be write a 人 on your palm and swallow it. It’s the thing Japanese do to calm themselves down.)

 

“Thanks for waiting, Joro.”

“Thanks for waiting, Joro-kun.”

 

Here it waaaaas! That was what I was waiting for, baby!

 

“No need to, it isn’t like I was waiting for— Huh?”

 

That was strange.

 

I expected to see Tsubaki wearing a maid uniform while Pansy took her glasses off, but…

 

Tsubaki was still wearing her school uniform, and Pansy still had her glasses on…

 

They were carrying something though.

 

“I never thought you’d be preparing the same thing as me, Tsubaki.”

“That’s my line. I never thought you’d know about this, Pansy.”

 

Pansy referred to Tsubaki by her nickname now, huh? What was she up to?

 

Anyway, that wasn’t important! Why were they both carrying piko-piko hammers?! (T/N: You know, that red and yellow hammer from sonic? Amy’s hammer.)

 

“W-Well, I guess we can do it at the same time. I-I did my best to do my research on it yesterday…”

“S-Sure. I-I’m also feeling a little embarrassed doing it myself, so I’ll gladly take that suggestion…”

 

Tsubaki was fidgeting around, meanwhile Pansy squirmed.

 

Because of her braids and glasses, the latter looked horrendous, but who cares.

 

““…””

 

The two of them looked at each other with red faces. Silently, they each took out rabbit ears from God knows where and put them on. Then, they lightly hit my head with the pico-pico hammers in their hands.

 

T-This…! C-Could it be—?!

 

““Master~! Are you making some mochi today, pyon? Huh? These aren’t mochis, pyon! As a punishment I’ll turn you into mochi, pyon!””

 

I knew it! It was one of my collections! ‘Bunny Maid and Her Hammer! Mochi Pounding Competition!’ I understood that Pansy would know it, but how did Tsubaki know about it?

 

“Yesterday, you told me to do this, so I thought that you really love this and did some research on it. And based on your response, it was worth putting all that work! Alright!”

 

So I was digging my own grave yesterday?! No, you shouldn’t have done that! I would still be happy even if you didn’t know it!

 

Well, I did feel kinda bad if you were to do this without being aware what it actually was, but you still didn’t need to look it up!

 

“So, what do you think? I don’t think I did it perfectly, but I put my best efforts into it.”

 

 

“Me too. I tried my best, but…as expected, is it not good enough…?”

 

Honestly, the fact that you two knew about this thing was already good enough.

 

I didn’t even know what to say.

 

“Oh my, it seems like Joro-kun is unsatisfied with this. Alright, let’s go on to the next one then…”

“I see. It can’t be helped, let’s start the next one. I hope I won’t lose this time.”

“W-Wait a minute! I-It wasn’t what you think! Y-You two did great!”

 

If they were to do another one of these, I’d die!

 

Seriously, why couldn’t they just leave it at this?!

 

“Neither of us would be satisfied with a tie. Let’s start the next round.”

“Agree. I won’t back down until you decide which mochi is better.”

 

Pansy, you piece of—! You knew how I feel about this, didn’t you?!

 

I could see your shoulders shaking! You were holding back your laughter, didn’t you?! Stop it! Seriously, stop it!

 

“Joro! Pansy! Sorry, I forgot that I left my handgrip in here…huh? Woah, those are cute headbands! Anyway, what are you guys doing…?”

 

Sun-chan! Dude, you always came to me whenever I got into trouble! What a good friend you were!

 

“I placed your handgrip at the reception desk, Sun-chan.”

“Oh, really? Thank you! Also, I don’t know what you guys are doing, but Joro’s face is screaming, ‘Anymore than this, I’ll die’, so do it in moderation, okay? See you!”

 

Then my best friend left the library with a refreshing smile on his face.

 

His parting speech was so perfect to the point that both Pansy and Tsubaki stood frozen in place.

 

“…Um, were we troubling you, Joro?”

“…That’s a shame.”

 

Those words from Sun-chan immediately made Tsubaki act meekly, while Pansy said those words with a regretful voice.

 

“Not really, but…just give me a break for a bit…”

In any case, he managed to end my suffering. Phew…so tiring…

 

“Joro…”

“What is it, Tsubaki?”

 

As I sat down on my chair, half-dazedly, Tsubaki approached me.

 

“Can I still know the result of today’s showdown? Despite everything…I still did my best…”

“…Right…”

 

As I was about to tell her the result of the showdown, Pansy was also staring at me intently.

 

Yeah, just as I told her yesterday, I’ll actually pick one of them as a winner instead of leaving them hanging.

 

I actually thought this over for the whole day, there was no way I’d chicken out.

 

“Tsubaki, you don’t need to devote yourself to me. You lost.”

“H-Huh? T-That’s…!”

“Don’t get me wrong, though. It isn’t like I hate you or anything, it’s just, you’ve done enough for me, I don’t need anything anymore, okay? So, please just treat me like a normal friend from now on.”

“…I see…”

 

My words really seemed to affect her, as even though she was nodding, she still looked really disappointed.

 

Cosmos and Himawari weren’t here, so I’d just tell them about this later. As for Pansy…

 

“Pansy, you also lost. But don’t get me wrong either, I’ve decided on a proper winner. And whoever it is, I’ll give them the right to boil me, fry me or whatever, I don’t care.”

“…I see. So, who is it?”

 

Despite looking disappointed, she seemed to be ready to hear my answer.

 

Like I said, I’ve decided on a proper winner, though they weren’t here at the moment.

 

I’ll tell them about this later.

 

They’d earn the right to boil me, fry me or whatever it was that they wanted to do to me.

 

Well, you guys must have figured it out already, who exactly the person I was talking about was! Yes, correct!

Today I’ve learned something important. The fact that I was a mob, and this kind of lifestyle, being pampered by a bunch of girls, wasn’t the right one for me!

I didn’t need a big harem!

Frolicking around with a bunch of cute girls was fun, but I had enough!

That was why I told Tsubaki to stop devoting herself to me or whatever.

 

Then, that b*tch Himawari, well, starting tomorrow, she had morning practice and I had conscience, so it was only right for me to leave her alone for the time being.

 

Cosmos’ lunch was tasty, but I didn’t want her to force herself to make all that food for me.

 

I really, really loved Pansy’s sweets, but I could endure living without them…

 

And so, the winner of them all was…!

 

“Sun-chan!”

 

Homo? BL? Yeah, say whatever you want, see if I care!

 

As long as these guys could leave me alone, all was good! Seriously, make it stop!

 

Their personality, look, or…even gender! All of those didn’t matter!

 

The only thing that mattered was how much they understood me!

If you gave me a choice if I had to go through all this every single day or cuddle with Sun-chan, I’d pick the latter without hesitation!

After I told them all this, texting those who weren’t here, those girls immediately complained to me. Some of them even sent me something like, ‘But I’ve tried so hard…’ but I don’t care!

 

From now on, I’d devote myself to being a mob! I’d only cheer for Sun-chan from the side!

 

All hail the mob life! Vive la mob life! What romcom? F**k that!

 

TL: Iyo

ED: Iyo

 

 

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