Ore wo Suki nano wa Omae dake ka yo - Chapter 1 Part 2

Chapter 1 Part 2

 

As soon as recess started, I started marching toward Tsubaki— Or not, because she already ambushed me before I could even do that. As expected of my Bringer of Misfortune!

 

“Now, this time, definitely. I’ll return the favor, Joro. Please, tell me your wish.”

 

HAHAHAHA! THIS WAS IT! What was the saying again? Like a moth to a flame? Well, whatever it was!

Anyway! Time to set my plan into motion! I’ll carry out the plans I’ve been cooking up while we were in class and expose her true nature!

 

“Alright, why don’t I show you around the school, Tsubaki? Since it’s your first day at school and all~”

“Huh? But, I’m the one who’s supposed to do something for you…”

 

Hah! That fake kindness wouldn’t work on me!

 

Don’t you dare underestimate me! Just wait! I’ll tear off that deceptive skin piece by piece!

 

“Think of it this way, you’re doing something for me for letting me do something for you!”

 

How was that?! Try to refute that now! Here, I’ll add my nihilistic smile as a bonus!

 

Not a single girl in this world would turn me down after I went this far!

 

“Mm, fine if you say so. But, can you not make that kind of face? It’s weird.”

 

See? What did I say? Anyway, that was the last time I’d ever put on that nihilistic smile.

 

“Huh, are you going to show Tsubaki-chan around, Joro? I’ll go with you!”

“Well, I don’t think we should go with a large group. I can show her around by myself…”

 

Himawari, we adults here had business to do, so could you stay here in the classroom?

 

And don’t even think of coming with us!

“Nooo! It’s unfair! I wanna go too!”

 

Tch, immediately getting into her spoiled brat mode, huh? If this situation didn’t change, my plan would fail…

 

I had to get out of this situation quickly, but how?

 

“Thank you, Himawari, going with Joro alone would be enough for me.”

“If you say so, sure, Tsubaki-chan…but later! Later talk with me a lot, okay?”

 

Woman, why were you more obedient toward a girl you just met compared to me, your own childhood friend??

 

Sure, that got me out of this situation, but now I am just pissed off…

 

“Of course, I can do that.”

“Yaay~”

 

Whatever. Anyway, I can leave Himawari with another matter.

 

“By the way, Himawari, Asunaro’s been trying to talk to you about something.”

“Huh, really? Alright, I’ll talk to her then~”

“Ugh—! N-Not bad, Joro…”

 

Did you think it would be so easy to tail me, you deranged woman from Tsugaru? I could smell everything coming from miles away!

Alright, now that the last obstacle had been removed, time to proceed with the plan! …Or not. There was one more thing…

 

“Right, Tsubaki, before we start, I have something to warn you about something.”

“What is it?”

“While I’m showing you around the school, if you were to see a bench, don’t sit on it.”

“Huh? A bench…? But why?”

 

My abrupt remark made her unilaterally drop her expressionless look, and she stared at me blankly. Ugh, she looked so cute…f*ck…

 

But, no matter how cute the face she made, I couldn’t compromise on this!

Just remember how much suffering I had to suffer through because of that thing—! All the past incidents, without exceptions, it was always there!

 

At the park, in the library, schoolyard, rooftop—! That thing always followed me everywhere!

The school ground was the perfect hunting ground for it. It could move around wherever it pleased!

 

If this girl were to sit down on it, all my efforts would be for naught!

 

“I don’t know why, but whenever I sit down on the bench with a girl, after that I’d be dragged down into the depths of misery, so please don’t sit down on it, under any circumstances. If you had no chance but to sit down, please don’t tell me to sit down with you. And lastly, don’t touch my hair!”

“G-Got it…”

 

She seemed to be taken aback by my sudden and passionate speech, but at least she seemed to understand what I was trying to say.

 

Phew…that should be enough to fulfill one of the four guidelines; ‘Avoid sitting with Yoki as much as possible’.

 

Since I got one guideline nailed down, the other ones should be easy to fulfill too. I hope…

 

Like, it should be fine as long as I could get Tsubaki to cooperate with me, especially in making sure Pansy— ‘Bzzt!’

 

…Hmmmm~? My phone’s buzzing~? I wonder what was up~?

[Tell me about it after school. In detail.]

[Yes, Ma’am.]

 

How the hell did she find out about it already?!

 

“Ah, by the way, Joro, I’ll be taking Tsubaki-chan to the library with me on lunch break! I’ve notified Pansy-chan and Cosmos-san about it, so you don’t need to worry about that!”

 

SO IT WAS YOU—!!

 

“Joro, aren’t you going to show me around?”

 

Grr…I really wanted to unleash everything on Himawari right now, but it wasn’t the time…! Calm down, me—!

“Right. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“No need to be sorry. I’m good at waiting.”

 

Again with your fake kindness! I told you that you’d never fool me with that!

 

*   *   *

 

“Joro, your uniform has a button loose.”

 

The moment we left the classroom and went down the hallway, Tsubaki immediately started her attack.

 

At first, she glanced at me, then she leaned in closer to me before taking care of the loose button she just mentioned. The atmosphere between us turned lukewarm.

 

There was a soft mint-scent coming from her, but I would never yield to this weak stimulation!

 

“Mhm, that should take care of it…anyway, where are we going?”

“Well, I’m planning to show you around the cafeteria first, then I’ll show you how to order the food and stuff…”

“Okay, please go ahead then. Thank you in advance.”

 

Huh? That was a surprisingly decent response? She didn’t forget to say thank you even…

 

Wait, I shouldn’t be fooled! There were no decent girls at this school and she shouldn’t be an exception to that!

 

“Joro, can I ask you something?”

“What’s up?”

 

Hm? Were you asking what kind of girls I like? Obviously girls with big t*ts.

 

“Your tone is different from back when we first spoke to each other last year. Why is that?”

 

Okay, I didn’t expect her to ask the type of girl question, but this was the one question I didn’t want her to ask!

 

Well, she asked for it. It’d deduct some points away, but whatever, I’d just tell her about everything honestly.

 

“Actually, that was just me acting like some goody two shoes. I stopped doing it last year— No, last April, actually.”

“Why did you fake it?”

“Because I thought I’d be popular if I were to act like that compared to my true self. I mean, can’t you see? I just spit out whatever I’m thinking now.”

 

Somehow, it felt like I was confessing that I had done something wrong. It was a strange feeling…

 

“…Sorry, it seems like that’s the wrong question to ask. But, I understand you better now!”

 

Seriously, this girl… She was still faking her kindness even after this far, huh? 

 

Tsk tsk tsk, too bad this much would never work on me! This half-hearted, amateurish act of kindness would never get through me!

 

Let me tell you something, Girl! Every single day! That natural b*tch Himawari had been doing the same thing to me!

 

If you wanted to talk sh*t about devoting yourself to me, then you had to at least act like a b*tch!

 

I’ll give you an example. Say it was Himawari who was in this situation instead of you. The moment we left the classroom, she’d pull my arm like a bit— no, I meant, she’d pull my arm tightly while screaming, ‘Joro~! Bring me to the cafeteria~!’

 

This was the most basic of the basics! If you wanted to devote yourself to me, you’d have to at least do something like that first!

 

What if you couldn’t do that? Then, your wish would remain a dream— Huh? For some reason on this wall, there was a sign? They applied some wax coating…?

 

“Whoops, it seems like they had just applied some fresh wax here. I don’t want you to fall over, Joro, sorry in advance.”

 

N-No way…T-Tsubaki-chan actually…embraced my arm and guided me gracefully…

 

Dude, this felt amazing! How could girls’ bodies feel so soft?! 

 

“M-Mmph–!”

 

Banzai! Hail the random wax!

 

“Ahahaha…this is the second time I’ve ever done this, b-but it still feels embarrassing…”

 

Y-You idiot! T-Trying to nail a b*tch and a pure character at the same time?!

 

B-But, maybe she was a natural? I-If that was the case, how was that even possible?! The two traits were total opposites, you shouldn’t be able to combine them both!

 

Amazing! Not only did I get the touchy-touch, she was also acting bashfully! 

 

T-This girl was dangerous. To be able to utilize Himawari’s high level technique with such ease…I couldn’t underestimate her—!

But, this wouldn’t be enough to win me over! She’d need to do more than just embracing my arm!

 

At least do it tighter! Or hug the other parts of my body too! Let me feel you up even more! DEHAHAHAHAHA!

 

*   *   *

 

“Here’s the cafeteria, and you can order there.”

 

When we arrived at the cafeteria, I showed Tsubaki around while thoroughly enjoying her ‘touch’.

 

There were times when I lost my balance, and each time, she’d embrace me even tighter.

 

“I see. So I assume that this place will get crowded during lunch break?”

“Yeah. The counter especially, will be so crowded that you can’t even do anything there. Those guys from sports clubs would be all over the place, so it’ll literally become a battlefield there. Sun-chan is one of them, as he’s literally the ace of the baseball club, so he can actually buy something, but I’m just a normal guy, no way I can join that hellhole. I’m not saying I’m bad at sports though, I’m just not good at it.”
“Is there anything you’re good at, Joro?”

“…No.”

 

As someone who was walking the path of a mob, there was no way I’d have something I was good at.

 

“I see. Then, why don’t you try looking for something that you can be good at?”

“One day, maybe.”

 

Ugh! This girl gave me proper advice?! What a detestable girl!

 

“By the way, if you want to get something from the cafeteria, you can just tell me, Joro. I’ll get it for you.”

“…Sure.”

 

Okay, that one was out of line!

 

Hey, hey, Tsubaki-san! Just because you were better than Himawari didn’t mean you were allowed get ahead of yourself!

Let me tell you something, there was a girl who was as good as Himawari in this school! Hell, she might be even better than her!

Attractive face and body! Accomplished both physically and intellectually! Perfect manners! She was the embodiment of those three! Our dear Student Council President, Cosmos!

 

She was an amazing girl! Whenever we had lunch together, she’d make something delicious and share it among all of us! Seriously, her food never missed!

Sure, she was clumsy in literally everything, but when it came to cooking, she was completely unparalleled!

 

Anyway, what I was trying to say was, what she should have said back then wasn’t ‘I’ll buy it for you,’ but ‘I’ll cook it for you’! There you go, checkmate!

A girl who couldn’t cook wasn’t a real girl at all! 

 

Since that was the case, even her status as a girl became questionable! I knew it, this girl—

 

“Ah, of course if you don’t want anything from the cafeteria, I can always share my lunch with you.”

“…Huh?”

“Actually, I brought it with me. Here, taste some of my kushikatsu. Aah~”

 

Ahh~ Okay, this girl was the real deal. I retract my suspicion of her.

 

“Oh, wait, it’s still hot, isn’t it? I’ll cool it down… Fuu…”

 

She did the ‘fuu’ so naturally—!

Tsubaki suddenly took out a steaming kushikatsu and stuffed it into my mouth,

 

SHOO GOOOD! This tasted like something they’d sell in stores— Wait, her parents owned a kushikatsu shop!

 

Cosmos’ cooking might be good, but I had to eat the food myself. Meanwhile, with Tsubaki, not only was her cooking good, she also fed me with it!

I never thought she’d be able to surpass our dear Student Council President so easily…

 

From now on, if I were to forget to bring my lunch, I’d ask Tsubaki to feed me instead! UHIHIHIHI!

 

*   *   *

 

“That’s all for now. You can ask me if there’s another place you’re interested in.”

“Mm, I don’t think there’s any for now, but I’ll ask you if I’m interested in something later.”

 

Since it was about time for our next class to start, we were on our way back to class. D-D*mn it! In the end, I couldn’t get this girl to show me her true self!

 

It was as if she was actually sincere! She showered me with all that goodwill without actually asking for anything in return!

Not only that, she even managed to effortlessly surpass both Cosmos and Himawari in the things that they were good at!

 

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that she was the perfect heroine! Well, not really, because her chest was pitifully small, but still—!

“Ah…”

 

At that moment, a student notebook fell down from the chest pocket of the innocent b*tch who had been embracing my arm the whole time.

 

Since it fell down in my direction, I might as well— Huh? There was a picture there.

 

Woah, who the hell was this dynamite lady? Could you introduce me to her?

“D-Did you see that? T-That was my mom back when she was still in college…I-I don’t look like her at all, do I?”

 

What?! This was HER MOTHER? Dude, she really got f**ked over by the DNA gacha!

“A-Apparently, her chest started to get bigger after she graduated from high school…”

 

Putting aside the matter of why the hell did she have her mom’s picture on her handbook, DUDE, THAT WAS QUITE THE REVELATION! That meant, when Tsubaki graduated from high school, she’d be—! Yes, she was the perfect heroine for sure!

“T-Tsubaki…”

“Yes?”

 

I swallowed my saliva, trying to calm down my heartbeat. At the same time, I put my hand on my pocket.

 

After all these revelations, there was no doubt that Tsubaki was the most perfect heroine so far, but…there was this one thing…one single thing that I managed to recognize in the short period of time we’ve been talking to each other.

 

But would it be possible? It was extremely unlikely, but…

 

“Please accept this.”

I took out a piece of paper from my pocket and handed it over to her. My hands were pathetically trembling as I did so.

 

“…This is?”
“Mhm.”

 

She looked at me doubtfully. Was she really that surprised after seeing what was written on that paper? That meant it was indeed impossible.

 

Well, that was it, I guess. It was unfortunate, but what could I do, anyway? I was too greedy…

 

“Sure…”

 

Oui? Really?! …Ohh!! I could see her cheeks reddened as she said that. She moved both her hands to her head, mimicking bunny ears, and—!

 

“Mastaa~ What kind of game are we going to play today, pyon~?”

 

YAHOOO! THERE IT WAS, ONE OF MY BEST COLLECTIONS, ‘BUNNY MAID UHEHEHE YUGI-KAI!’

 

“D-Did I do it correctly…?”

“P-Perfect! I’ll be in your care from now on, Tsubaki!”

“Mm. Likewise…? Hehe…”

I mean, she went this far, so it couldn’t be helped, right~?

Like, it should be fine for me to pretend that I fell for her trap, right~?

 

If I’d end up going to hell either way, I might as well enjoy the process, right~?

 

There was also a saying about it, desperate situations call for something. Whatever it was, I agreed with that saying!

 

Yeah, I definitely wasn’t enjoying this, so don’t misunderstand, okay? MUHYOHYOHYOHYO!

 

TL: Iyo

ED: Iyo

 

 

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