Ore wo Suki nano wa Omae dake ka yo - Chapter 1 Part 1

Chapter 1 – The Completion of My Harem and Its End

 

 

Right now, a girl was standing right in front of me.

 

She had short, straight hair, and her forehead was covered by her bangs. Her eyes looked stern and manly, her height was a little taller than average and her chest was disappointing, flatter than even Himawari’s.

 

Despite that disappointing part, she was pretty enough. This girl, Yoki-san, was a transfer student who joined our class today.

 

Anyway, this girl was an eccentric one.

 

Back when she first introduced herself in front of the class, she suddenly walked up to me and said…

 

‘From now on, I’ll devote myself to you. I’ll be in your care.’

 

…That incomprehensible line. Not only that, she suddenly kissed the back of my hand right after that.

 

An interesting turn of event, wasn’t it?

 

Now, if only she kissed my lips, or at least, my cheeks instead…

 

Maybe we were secretly engaged thanks to our parents’ old promise? Or maybe we promised each other our future in the past? Like, keeping our promise inside a locket and she was keeping the key as a pendant…? (T/N: Nisekoi reference.)

 

There were a lot of possibilities, but there was only one conclusion to draw.

 

I entered the transfer student plotline!

 

Heh, I had been preparing myself for the day when I got to enter a romcom route and it seemed like my preparation wasn’t in vain!

Now, what to do in this situation? Obviously, staring at her with innocent eyes that everyone would find cute while saying, ‘Um… I don’t understand…’ was the way to go!

 

Hahaha! Pulling that kind of stunt would be easy for me!

 

“Noooo!”

 

Or so you’d think! Of course I wouldn’t do that! I pulled out my hand and let out a loud scream.

 

Seriously, what the hell was her deal?! No sane person would come up to someone’s side and suddenly kiss the back of their hand!

 

“Your reaction is too much, don’t you think so?”

 

Sorry for reacting that way to your advances, but there were too many things wrong with your actions for me not to react that way! Actually, scratch that, your action itself was problematic!

 

“I-I mean, a normal person wouldn’t do something like this, wouldn’t they?”

“Yes, they would.”

“No, they wouldn’t!”

 

Look, even if you knew me, as a transfer student, why the hell would you come up to me and kiss the back of my hand?!

 

Besides, I didn’t even know who the hell you were to begin with!

 

“But, my dad told me that if I want to devote my life to someone, I should show them my sincerity by kissing the back of their hand first… Strange…”

 

Which British noble family were you born from?! Your father’s educational policy was the strange one here!

No matter how you looked at it, that would only create misunderstandings! People would only get suspicious if you were to do that in real life!

 

Seriously, if she kept this up, she’d be having a tough time living in this school…

 

See?! Everyone was looking at her with a strange look already…or not?! They were looking at me with disgust! Really? Was I going to have to go through this sh*t again?!

“Ah, Yoki-san, don’t you think it’s time for you to introduce yourself to the class?”

 

Nice, Sensei! You did a good job to change this uncomfortable atmosphere!

 

“Right, I’m sorry. Then, see you later, Kisaragi Amatsuyu-kun.”

 

She referred to me by my full name. It was scary. It felt like she would chase me to the end of the earth.

 

Seriously, I didn’t need that ‘see you later’. I had enough, I didn’t need you to come back to me.

 

“My name is Yoki Chiharu. My nickname at my previous school was ‘Tsubaki.’ Just take the ‘Ki’ off my surname and ‘Haru’ off my first name, it’ll become ‘Tsubaki.’ I’d appreciate it if you would call me by that name.” (T/N: Yoki Chiharu/洋木茅春. Take the ‘ki/木’ and ‘haru/春’, for ‘Tsubaki/椿’)

 

Amazing, she even had her own nickname following the series’ theme…

 

Anyway, even after hearing her full name, I couldn’t recall anything about her. Seriously, who was she?

 

I think I need more hints…

 

“Is there anyone who wants to ask her a question?”

“Ah, me! I want to ask something! Tsubaki-chan, why did you transfer to our school?”

 

Nice, Himawari. Asking a question that had nothing to do with what had just transpired to douse this strange atmosphere was a good move.

 

‘Kissing someone’s hand is a common thing, right? Why do you guys look so upset?’

 

It was as if she was saying those words dismissively.

 

I’ll dub you as ‘B*tchy Djokovic,’ since you were a tennis player and all. (T/N: The ‘vic’ in Djokovic and ‘b*tch’ sounds the same in Japanese. Also, a reference to Novak Djokovic, the current ranked 2 tennis player in the world and the guy who held the longest record of holding the 1st rank tennis player in the world according to ATP.)

 

“My parents own a kushikatsu shop and since business is booming for us, we decided to open a branch here. I moved in with them. Our shop’s name is ‘Cheerful Skewers.’ It’ll open the day after tomorrow, so you can come and visit us if you like.”

“Woah, amazing! Alright! I’ll definitely come and visit!”

 

If her parents owned a kushikatsu shop, then why the hell did her father practice British etiquette?

 

Was it because skewers were similar to rapiers?

 

No, that shouldn’t be the case. Rapier was French, not British… Wait, kushikatsu shop? Huh…?

 

‘My name is Chiharu. It is spelled with ‘chi’ from ‘Chigasaki’ and ‘haru’.’

 

“Ah, I see, I remember you now! Wait, you are a girl?!”

 

I almost got up from my seat, but I held the urge as I shouted my words.

 

Yes, I remembered who she was! It was that guy!

 

The unbelievably handsome clerk who ran the kushikatsu stall I found last year! Back when I bought kushikatsu to cheer Sun-chan up!

 

“You finally remembered? Wait, did you think I was a man—?”

“Did you say Cheerful Skewers?!”

 

Huh? An even louder shout than mine echoed from another seat.

 

The source of that shout was my friend, Oga Taiyou a.k.a Sun-chan.

 

For some reason, he seemed very excited.

 

He stood up with a clattering sound as he put his hand on his desk. He even jumped in excitement.

 

Being treated so violently by a 180 something cm tall guy, I swear I could hear that desk screaming in pain. I hope that he’d be more careful so that the desk wouldn’t break and injure himself in the process.

 

“Ah, you know about my family shop?”

“Of course! Since August last year ‘Cheerful Skewers’ has become one of the supernovas in the world of kushikatsu! In just one bite, you’ll be able to experience their extraordinary battering technique and high quality ingredients! In a single lick, you could see the emerald color spread, it’s truly the Aegean Sea of the sauce world! Not only will it please your palate but it’ll also soothe your soul, giving you the ultimate kushikatsu experience! Ah, I can’t get enough of it! ‘Cheerful Skewers’ is a hit even among the gourmet!”

 

Calm down, Sun-chan. I could understand your feelings, but I couldn’t understand what the hell were you talking about.

 

All I could get from your speech was your unending love for kushikatsu.

 

“Mm, you know your stuff. You summed everything up nicely.”

 

What?! You could understand what he was saying?!

 

“Ah, I think that should be enough for the self-introduction. Your seat is in the back, Yoki-san, please get seated.”

 

It seemed like the Homeroom Teacher had enough of this spectacle as he forcibly ended the self-introduction session.

 

“I understand.”

 

Urged by him, Yoki went to her assigned seat with an expressionless look on her face.

 

Contrary to the usual trope, she didn’t end up sitting next to me, but quite a distance away from me.

 

By the way, my seat was the third seat from the front and second seat from the right, pretty much a location that’d suit a mob. That was why all the seats around me were occupied.

 

Incidentally, the one who sat next to me was…

 

“Joro, you got her to kiss the back of your hand? Unbelievable…”

 

Girl A-san, the terrifying member of the charismatic girls’ clique.

 

“N-No, I-I didn’t even know why she’d do such a thing…”

“…Gross.”

 

Wasn’t it strange?

 

In the last volume’s epilogue, she seemed to be respecting me after I lent her a hand when she had a fight with her clique. But why was she looking at me with such a disgusted look?

 

I guess this was what they meant when they compared a woman’s heart to the autumn sky. I learned a lot today. (T/N: It’s a proverb in Japanese, basically saying that the woman’s heart is fickle and easily changed just like the weather during the autumn.)

 

…Well, that wasn’t the point.

 

Last April, I got into the ‘Scumbag Who Posed as a Romcom Protagonist Tried to Snatch Two Beauties at Once’ incident. Then, earlier this month there was the ‘Scumbag Who Got Chosen as the Kabuten Participant Despite Him Being a Mob, but This Time, He Got Three Beauties Instead of Two!’ incident. And now, just a day before June started, the ‘Scumbag Who Made the Transfer Student Kissed His Hand’ incident started!

 

…Honestly, when I think about it, it was amazing.

 

While such incidents didn’t come every single day, it still came to me at a rate of one incident per month.

 

If I were a detective, I’d be a good one because of how ridiculous the amount of incidents I had to face was.

 

Anyway, I should stop complaining and start thinking about what to do.

 

Since this wasn’t my first round, I was completely calm.

 

How calm was I? My eyes couldn’t focus, they wandered around like crazy. Also, my thighs were shaking three times the normal speed.

 

Since I was that calm, I managed to devise three guidelines as countermeasures for this potential incident.

 

Of course, I’ll happily introduce you! Here’s the grand reveal of my guidelines!

Number one: Ensure that I wouldn’t attract the hostility of everyone in class, especially Girl A-san.

 

This one was an obvious one. Yoki’s action was clearly a bad thing for me.

 

Thanks to her, I could hear the jealous voices and feel the killing intent my boy classmates exuded. Just listen to what they were saying… ‘I can throw away my humanity at any moment now…’ See? They were ready to wear that stone mask! (T/N: Jojo Part 1 reference.)

 

I should consider getting a part-time job at Heroes Inc. (T/N: A reference to Heroes Inc., a novel by Kitagawa Emi.)

 

In any case, I should work on reversing this situation rather than escaping from reality.

 

Therefore, time to struggle.

 

Number two: Ensure that Pansy wouldn’t find out about this.

 

Whoops, don’t you dare get the wrong idea. I didn’t want her to find out not because I liked her. I still hated her for all intent and purpose.

 

The thing was, that girl had been openly showing me her affection and was bold enough to tell me that she liked me.

 

If she were to find out about this, who knows what would happen.

 

Though, I knew one thing for sure.

 

If she were to find out, that would be a one way ticket to hell for me.

 

Therefore, time to struggle.

 

Number three: Avoid sitting with Yoki as much as possible.

 

This was important. Our first meeting was like a fateful encounter.

 

The time, place and event was like something you’d see in a love story.

 

Now, if I were to willingly sit beside her? Something terrible would bound to happen.

 

Especially if I were to sit in that particular place with her. There wasn’t a single time when I sat down in that place with someone and things didn’t go horribly wrong.

 

Hell, I couldn’t even bring myself to say its name.

 

Therefore, time to struggle.

 

Alright, that would be my guidelines for this time’s incident. What do you think? Perfect, isn’t it?

 

I’ve decided the actions that I needed to take based on my relationships with everyone around me and my past experience.

 

Alright, time to do my best to fight on while following those three guidelines!

“You’re messing with another girl again, huh, Joro? And I thought you’ve repented… Now, where’s my memo?”

 

Number four: Do not let this girl write any unnecessary article about me.

 

Therefore, time to struggle.

 

Alright, time to do my best to fight on while following those four guidelines!

 

*   *   *

 

After a shocking homeroom session, the short recess before the first period started.

 

The moment the teacher said his closing statement, Yoki immediately came up to me.

 

That was way too quick, woman. What the hell?

 

D*mn it! Why couldn’t my classmates just do the usual thing and crowd around her like what other people normally did with transfer students?! Why were they so reasonable when it came to something like this?!

Almost everyone was staring at us…

 

“So, is there something that you want me to do? I can do anything for you.”

“Then, give me a gyaru’s panties!”

 

Alright, what I gotta do here was to ease the atmosphere with a light jo—

 

“Okay.”

“Huh?”

 

Wait, what? This girl suddenly turned her gaze toward Girl A-san— Wait, no!

 

“You. Can you give Kisaragi Amatsuyu your panties?”

“W-What?! Why me?!”

 

NOOO! NOT THAT GYARU PLEASE!

 

“W-Wait, I was joking!”

“Really? Then, stop making jokes that would be easily misunderstood. So, what is it that you want me to do for you?”

 

I just wanted to lighten the mood…couldn’t I do that at least…?

 

“Y-You…m-my panties…”

 

Actually, Girl A-san, I liked the way you were putting your hands between your legs.

 

You were scared at the thought that she might take off your panties, weren’t you? Kyaaa! So cute!

Since you made such a cute gesture, you understood my intention, right?

 

I said something perverted, but I really just wanted to ease the atmosphere.

 

So, why wouldn’t you try to smile and—

 

“You trash!”

 

Yes, yes, I was, but so what?

 

Fine, if you were going to act like that, see if I care!

 

Let’s ignore her and deal with Yoki instead. What was it that we were talking about? What I wanted her to do?

 

“Yoki, you see, I—”

“Call me Tsubaki. Did you already forget my introduction earlier?”

 

It seemed like this wannabe British noble couldn’t understand my subtle attempt to put a boundary between us.

 

Fine, I’ll settle it the noble way.

 

“…Tsubaki-dono. To tell you the truth, I don’t need you to do anything for me.”

 

Wait, no, that was the samurai way! D*mn it, a certain student council president’s habit was rubbing off on me.

 

“Really? You truly are a selfless person.”

 

No, quite the opposite actually. I was a selfish, but introverted pervert.

 

“Isn’t there anything at all? Like, maybe you are secretly bullied by someone and need a hand? Or maybe you’re being forced to do something against your will and you had enough of it? I can help you with that.”

 

…I guess there were some people who found themselves in that kind of situation somewhere, huh?

 

Maybe I could find one if I were to stare at a mirror.

 

Anyway, I wonder why was she so adamant on this? Wait, couldn’t I just make her answer that question? Alright, here goes noth—

 

“Tsubaki-chan!”

“You are…? Ah, the girl who asked me a question just now.”

“Yes! My name is Hinata Aoi! Everyone calls me Himawari! Nice to meet you!”

“Hm, you have a nickname just like me. Nice to meet you, Himawari.”

 

Tch. I was about to ask her, but Himawari just had to butt in at the worst timing.

 

She’d get mad if I were to interrupt their conversation so I’d keep quiet.

 

“Tsubaki-chan, what kind of relationship do you have with Joro? You kissed his hand and all!”

 

Why the hell I had to be careful so you wouldn’t get angry at me, but you were doing whatever you want?!

 

You even put an effort into that question, with a kissing gesture and all! You knew that you didn’t look cute…no, actually, you looked cute…

 

D*mn it! I hated this but it was true that she looked cute!

“Joro? Ah, so your nickname is Joro, Kisaragi Amatsuyu.”

 

After giving me a side glance, she returned her gaze to Himawari again.

 

Oh no…what was she up to now? This was the same girl who took my joke seriously and demanded panties from a coyote without any hesitation.

 

She’d definitely explain our relationship as a shop owner and customer in a way that everyone would misunderstand…

 

I wanted to stop her, but I was just a mob. I lacked the ability and position to interfere. Could I really do nothing to stop her, though?

 

“Yes, that’s right! And I’m his best friend, Oga Taiyou! You can call me Sun-chan!”

 

Alright! Finally, my hero came to save me!

 

“Right, Joro?”

 

He was telling me, ‘Leave it to me!’ with his eyes.

 

“R-Right, Sun-chan!”

 

I replied to him through my eyes, ‘Thank you, I’ll leave it to you!’

 

With this, I should be safe! Tsubaki wouldn’t say anything unnecessary about me, right?

 

“Sun-chan! She still hasn’t answered my question!”

 

B*tchy Djokovic pulled out her signature move! The counter attack!

 

As usual, her endurance was insane! And I hated it!

 

“E-Eh? M-My bad…g-go ahead then…”

 

Sun-chan! Don’t give up! Don’t look at me with those sad eyes!

 

“Ehehe! Then, can you tell me, Tsubaki-chan?”

 

Oh, I’m finished…

 

“Last year, our shop was in the red and we were almost in bankruptcy, but one day, Joro came out and bought all the kushikatsu in our shop. That was actually the most profitable day we had ever since we started our shop. Since that day, things had been progressing well thanks to Joro. When he bought out our kushikatsu, he also left us advice on how to sell our kushikatsu. ‘Tasty kushikatsu isn’t enough. You also need to make something that suits your customer-base and put more effort in advertising it so that people would know how tasty your kushikatsu are.’ He said.”

 

Huh? I thought her answer would surely create misunderstandings, but it wasn’t the case at all?

 

It was a surprisingly normal answer…? It even gave me a sense of nostalgia…

 

Also, now that she mentioned it, I remembered saying something like that. Gotta say it was a good idea even though it came out of my mouth.

 

“And just like what he said, when we made an effort to advertise our product and make it suit our customer-base, more people came to our shop. We went from a food stall to a real shop. We even grew big enough to open up a second shop. Joro also came up with a catchphrase so bad that we ended up never using it, but we’re very grateful to him nonetheless.”

 

Mhm, I remembered that part too. Especially the part when she just insulted me about my catchphrase right in front of my face.

 

“Huh, now that you mention it, I only heard of the ‘Cheerful Skewers’ last August. So everything is thanks to Joro, huh?”

“Yes. Thanks to him our sales increased and our shop became famous. That’s why I’m still keeping the money he used to pay us back then as a good luck charm. Of course, I submitted most of them to our store’s sale, I only kept some of them with me.”

 

Huh? Wait…this was actually something that would make my reputation better?

 

Tsubaki happily pulled out a five yen coin from her pocket. She looked happy.

 

Honestly, I didn’t remember about the coin at all… I’d just take her words that it used to be mine.

 

“I never expected that I’d cross paths with him again…hehehe… I don’t believe in God or fate or anything like that, but something like this made me want to believe in them…”

 

By the way, I didn’t get to give the kushikatsu to Sun-chan. I couldn’t even eat them all by myself either. Instead, I gave them all to the hungry children I found…well, I didn’t need to tell everyone about that.

 

Why would I go out of my way to lower my reputation when I had the chance to raise it without doing anything?

 

“Woah, that’s a nice story!”

“Ugh! My eyes are sweating!”

 

Oh, I didn’t really get it but somehow everyone was touched by the story.

 

The eavesdroppers seemed to be smiling in satisfaction and it seemed like the bad atmosphere from before had gone away!

 

“That’s why when I walked into the classroom and saw Joro, I was surprised. I thought that my wish had come true. I was so happy that I couldn’t restrain myself. My father taught me that I should kiss the back of his hand to show him my loyalty, so I did. It was the first time I’ve ever done it, so it was a little embarrassing…”

 

Countess Tsubaki! No! No! Stop right there!

 

If you were to act shyly like that—

 

“Going that far for Joro’s sake…”

“That guy’s luck has been good lately. What should we do? Should we deal with him once and for all?”

 

My reputation immediately hit rock bottom again!

“That’s how I met Joro. Back then, I didn’t know anything about him except for his name. Our second meeting might be a coincidence, but I believe that it’s ‘fate.’ That’s why I’ll do my best to return this favor to the best of my ability.”

 

Tsubaki said with an elegant smile, as if showing her determination. She was still clutching the five yen coin in her hands.

 

She was the one who drove my reputation to rock bottom, but her smile lifted my heart up.

 

It would be great if she could raise my reputation again, but sadly that would be impossible.

 

Class would start soon. See, the teacher already entered the classroom.

 

“Ah, it’s time. See you later then, Joro…”

“Guess I’ll go back to my seat.”

“Me too.”

“O-Okay…”

 

After confirming that Tsubaki, Himawari, Sun-chan and everyone else who was eavesdropping went back to their seats, I was left alone with my thoughts.

 

…I see. Tsubaki was showing me her gratitude by making the most out of this coincidence.

 

Her smile and that five yen coin…this was out of a drama, I swear to God.

 

Guess it was kinda romantic as well, hahaha. I mean, this kind of thing somehow happened in real life.

 

Now I understand why she had called it ‘fate.’ Honestly, I began to think the same too…

 

Still, I treated her harshly just because she acted a little weirdly…

 

What a bad person I was…so pathetic…

 

Well, it wasn’t like I could beat myself over it forever. There was an even more important thing to do.

 

Hm? What was the important thing? Obviously I’d have to apologize to her.

 

Then, I’d do my best and accept her feelings. I wouldn’t be losing out in this exchange anyway.

 

I mean, such a beautiful girl was willing to devote herself to me…

 

At this point, I couldn’t care less about my reputation anymore.

 

After all, it’d be better to have a handful of friends that I could trust rather than having a lot of friends that I had shallow relationships with.

 

That was why, you didn’t need to worry, Tsubaki. I wouldn’t be wary of you anymore. Instead, I’d place my trust in you.

 

…Like hell I would! You thought I’d say something like that?!

 

This was f*cking reality, there was no way things would go that smoothly!

I wouldn’t fall to this kind of sweet trap ever again!

 

Just think about it! The student who transferred to our class was someone who I had met before and because of this beautiful coincidence she was doing her best to repay the favor she received from me?

 

That development was something out of a romcom. It made me want to puke!

 

For all intent and purposes, I was a mob! There was no way that I’d get to enjoy that kind of sweet love story!

 

Seriously, she should read the title of the series properly before transferring in!

 

Wouldn’t that title become a fraud if she were to actually have a semblance of romantic interest toward me?!

 

…What if she had held those feelings since a long time ago? …Well, if that was the case, I guess she couldn’t help it…

 

B-But I still wouldn’t be fooled! I mean, just look at what had happened to me so far!

 

My own childhood friend and a certain student council president asked me out on a date, so I took their invitation in hope of somehow getting a score with one of them. But, remember what happened back then?!

I ended up becoming a supporter for their love toward another person instead!

 

After I got through that drama and tried to enjoy a peaceful life with my friends, what happened?

 

I got accused of three-timing and turned into the worst scum in the school!

 

And now you expected me to believe that a sweet development would happen?! No way! Impossible!

 

There was no way that a romcom-like development would happen to me at this point!

 

Just wait and see, this Tsubaki girl must have planned something shady in secret!

 

For example, something like she actually liked Sun-chan or she misunderstood my relationship with other girls! Hell, she might be approaching me to kill me to prevent some kind of disaster in the future!

 

Too bad for that fake romcom maker, I wouldn’t be fooled!

I wasn’t ‘the kind of highschool guy you could find anywhere!’ I wouldn’t just charge ahead head front into trouble the moment I sensed it!

 

And so, my set of courses from now on was clear! It was to reveal her true intentions!

 

I’ll use this class as my prep time!

 

Since that girl said she wanted to serve me or whatnot, I’ll take advantage of that and conduct various investigations on her! Huff huff!

I’ll make her do various things and try to find out all I want to find out by any means necessary! Huff huff!

Prepare yourself! Huff, huff!

 

“Joro, you’ve been breathing so loudly for a while now. Are you trying to sniff my panties…? …Gross…”

 

Shut up, Girl A-san, I didn’t have the slightest interest in your panties, so give it to me later!

Now, with that out of the way, time to cook up a plan! Hng~

The name of the plan would be, ‘Understanding Tsubaki’s True Feelings.’ Hng~

Hehehe, I couldn’t wait to see that smug look on her face to be distorted when I was done with her. Hng~

 

TL: Iyo

ED: Iyo

 

 

Support me on Ko-fi!