Ore wo Suki nano wa Omae dake ka yo - Chapter 1 Part 2

Chapter 1 Part 2

 

As soon as homeroom was over, I grabbed my bag and dragged my feet home.

 

Normally, I’d go to the library to keep my promise to Pansy, but not today.

 

She texted me earlier, saying ‘I have something to do after school today.’

 

That girl was always in the library during the lunch break, but after school, she wasn’t always there.

 

I still couldn’t wrap myself around the idea that she had any kind of business outside the library. I wonder what she was up to?

 

…Actually, whatever. What she was up to was none of my business.

 

“I’m home.”

 

I opened the door to my house, said my greetings and…no one answered me. Huh? Where did my mom go?

 

Normally, she’d be sitting in front of the TV, watching her favorite idol’s DVD…

 

Ah, could it be that she went out to meet that new friend she was talking about? Whatever, let’s just go to my room. I took off my shoes and walked upstairs.

 

When I entered my room, I placed my bag on the floor and dived into my bed…while still wearing my uniform.

 

“Aaaaahhh! Seriously! What do I do now?!”

 

Burying my head in the pillow while flopping my legs around, I screamed pathetically.

 

The cause of this wasn’t Pansy, but those guys I had an awkward relationship with at school…

 

No matter how many times I made an excuse to do otherwise, I couldn’t lie to myself. I wanted to make up with them.

 

When the incident was still ongoing, I hated them to the core, you know? I despised every moment when I had to see their faces.

 

But, for what it’s worth, it was those people who saved my a** at the most important time.

 

That was why I was thankful to them and I wanted to say my thanks properly. And to do that, I wanted to make up with them, dam**t!

 

I especially wanted to make up with Sun-chan. We had been best friends since middle school. For four whole years, he was my precious friend, of course I’d want to make up with him.

 

But, there wasn’t a good timing to— No, I should stop making excuses…

 

It was my own fault that I got cold feet and hesitated whenever an opportunity arose.

 

Even today, I had plenty of room to enter their conversations.

 

I couldn’t bring myself to do it because I was a coward. I kept thinking that if I were to come forward and enter their conversations, they’d feel uncomfortable and that made me stop in my tracks. Because of that, I ended up spending my days doing nothing to improve the situation.

 

“Haah… I’m so f**king lame…”

 

If another opportunity come, I swear I will—

 

“Amatsuyu!~ I’m home!”

 

Suddenly, I heard my mom’s voice coming from the first floor. She was home, it seemed.

 

“Yes, welcome home!”

 

I should drag my feet to the front door quickly. Why, you asked? Because that was the Kisaragi Household’s rule.

 

‘When someone comes home, whoever is at home must greet them at the entrance.’

 

This rule that my dad made for the sake of the family’s bond had never been broken.

 

“I’m home! You’re home early today, perfect!”

 

When I went down the stairs, I saw a woman with perm hair that looked exactly like Maruko-chan’s mom. (T/N: Chibi Maruko-chan reference. Maruko-chan is the MC and her mom has a perm, it’s as literal as a reference could get.)

 

She had thick makeup on her face. The woman’s name was Kisaragi Keiki and she was my mom.

 

Her age was forever twenty nine. That meant, she gave birth to me at the age of thirteen, amazing, wasn’t she? (T/N: To any of you who love to take things literally, no she is not actually 29 and she didn’t give birth to him at 13.)

 

“Yeah, I came back early today…wait, perfect? What do you mean?”

“C’mon, don’t be shy, don’t be shy! We can watch the DVD together!”

 

Huh? Did she bring her friend over? Well, guess I’ll say hello first before returning to my room…

 

“Um… Sorry to bother you…”

“…Huh?”

 

Eh? The person who entered our house with hesitation looked familiar somehow. She resembled a certain braided four-eyed girl. I rubbed my eyes to see if my eyes were deceiving me aaaand…she was still there.

 

Ah, I guess it was that thing, wasn’t it? I finally lost my mind.

 

Either way, I should go back upstairs, turn in early and take my schizo pills.

 

“Jeez, you don’t need to be so reserved, Sumireko-chan! Ah, Amatsuyu, Sumireko-chan is going to the same school as you! I believe her nickname was Pansy, right?”

 

Wow, not only that I started seeing things, I also started hearing things. This auditory hallucination sounded exactly like my mom too, amazing. 

 

I thought I wasn’t a mother-con, but it seemed like deep down, I craved for a motherly affection.

 

Anyway, I really need to take those schizo pills! Let’s go back to my room!

 

“Amatsuyu! Where are you going without saying hello to our guest?”

 

Hallucination-san, you were taking it too far. How dare you imitate not only my mom’s voice, but also her waving gesture?

 

“Hello, Joro-san.”

 

The braided four-eyed hallucination smiled shyly before bowing to me.

 

I could see her white socks as she carefully took off her leather shoes. It seemed like this one hallucination paid attention to its hygiene.

 

“What are you doing?! Why is it Sumireko-chan who greets you first? Hurry up, come over here and greet her!”

“O-Ow!”

 

I was standing in the middle of the stairs when my mom pulled me by the arm.

 

Seriously, Hallucination-san really went too far this time— No, I should stop trying to escape reality.

 

Regrettably, everything was true.

 

“…Yo, Pansy.”

 

And now, the Frozen Hell, Cocytus had descended upon my home.

 

“I’m here ♡”

 

Oi, even if you looked up at me while sticking your tongue out like that, I still wouldn’t find you cute.

 

“M-Mom… Do you know each other?”

“Huh, didn’t I tell you? Me and Sumireko-chan hang out a lot! Once every three days!”

 

No way. Whenever Pansy wasn’t in the library after school, could it be that she?

 

“Correct.”

 

Thank you for using your psychic ability on me. Now, could you please leave and go home?

 

“Ah, no! It’s rude of me to keep you around the entrance for too long, isn’t it? Let’s go to the living room, Sumireko-chan! Amatsuyu, help me get things ready for her!”

 

Wait, mom, this was the demon lord herself that you were trying to invite to our house! We should escort her back to her own lair!

 

“B-But, I-I…”

“What are you mumbling about? Come quickly!”

“…Yes, Mom…”

 

This was the power of a mother… It was pathetic of me, but it wasn’t like I could go against it… Haah…

 

…But first, I should vent my frustration to the demon lord behind me.

 

“I thought you told me that you won’t be coming here ever?”

“No. I gave up trying to go to your room, I’ve never said anything about giving up on going to your house.”

“Don’t mess with me, you–”

“Amatsuyu! Get your a** over here!”

 

DAMMMIIIITTTT!

 

“Ah, Sumireko-chan, feel free to sit wherever you like. Amatsuyu, come with me!”

 

Right, if I went with her, I wouldn’t need to see Pansy’s face, at least for a little while.

 

“I’ll help you, Kisaragi Keiki-san. I can make the maidelenes for you today.”

 

Did she not understand that her ‘help’ was unnecessary?

 

“Thank you, Sumireko-chan! Also, just because you’re visiting my house doesn’t mean you have to act all distant with me! Just call me ‘Laurier’ like usual!”

“I understand, Laurier-san.”

 

Wait a minute. I didn’t want to interrupt their friendly conversation, but…

 

“Um, mom? What is this ‘Laurier’ thing all about?”

“Huh? What do you mean? There’s a ‘Laurier’ in my name, isn’t it?” (T/N: Kisaragi Keiko/如月桂樹, take off the first kanji and you’ll get Laurier/月桂樹)

 

This pattern of creating a nickname based on flowers by using your real name…

 

Was my mom trying to enter the war as a new heroine of the story?!

 

Seriously, look in the mirror first. With that perm and heavy make-up, everyone could only see you as a housewife!

 

“A girl as sweet as a cake, Laurier! Prepare yourself, I’m going to blow your bitterness away!” (T/N: Cake and Keiki sound similar, it’s a pun. Also, the second half of the sentence roughly translated to ‘I’m going to make a get-well visit’, it just doesn’t sound good, so I came up with something else on my own.)

 

She even had a catchphrase of her own! This auntie meant business!

 

“Hehehe, I’m looking forward to your madeleines, Sumireko-chan! Speaking of which, our Amatsuyu over here ate your macarons before. He said that he’ll be marrying whoever made those macarons! He loved it that much!”

 

WHAAAAT?! I SAID THAT?!

 

“Oh my. You flatter me.”

 

Oi, wipe that smile off your face. I should go back to the past and fix this.

 

“Amatsuyu, what are you doing with that plate in your hand?”

“Ah… Well, I figured I’d try to do the ritual Akemi did before she time leaped.” (T/N: Madoka Magica reference. Actually a huge a** spoiler lmao. It refers to Homura Akemi, one of the main characters in the series.)

“In terms of appearance, wouldn’t I be more suited to do it?”

 

Shut up! Don’t you dare compare Homura-tan with yourself! You were more suited to be QB! (T/N: QB as in Kyubei, the white fox f**ker in Madoka.)

 

Just for the record, I won’t be making any contracts with you! Ah, wait, I already did when I agreed to go to the library every day. (T/N: A reference to what Kyubei did in the series,persuading girls to sign a contract with him and turn them into magical girls.)

 

…Wait, this wasn’t the time for this!

 

“Uh… Mom?”

 

I didn’t want to say this if I could help it, but I had no other choice. If I didn’t, my mom would keep on divulging more unnecessary information about me. Well, she already did, but still…

 

“What is it, Amatsuyu?~”

“Um… C-Can I bring Pansy to my room?”

“…Oh my.”

 

Stop acting all shy like that! You were creeping me out!

 

“Ehh! Nooo waaay! I’m claiming Sumireko-chan!~ She’s here to watch the DVD with me!~ Wink~ ☆”

 

Mind your age! That wink~ ☆ didn’t suit your age at all!

 

“What, do you really want to be with her that badly? Oh, does that mean that you two are dating?! Oh my~ Laurier’s heart is racing now!”

 

She started talking in third person… Oh no… My despair was now over 53000…

 

“No, we aren’t dating!”

“Yes. We merely promised each other’s future.”

“Oh, really?~”

“I didn’t make any promises!”

“You did. To meet me in the library tomorrow.”

“Okay, technically, tomorrow is the future, but that’s too close of a future!”

 

No good. The longer I stayed here, the worse the situation would get.

 

I had to force Pansy into my room somehow…or at least get her away from my mom…

 

“Now that I think about it, if Amatsuyu’s relationship with Sumireko-chan is getting better, there’s a chance that she’ll be my daughter-in-law in the future…”

 

There was no way in hell that would happen… But this was the opening that I needed! I’d be a fool if I were to miss it!

“Y-You got it right. T-That’s why, can I take her to my room, Mom?”

 

Letting them cut the flesh while I break their bones. I never thought that I’d be doing this in real life. (T/N: Letting them cut the flesh while I break their bones, an expression in Japanese that meant giving up something to gain a bigger benefit.)

 

Woah, my mom was grinning so widely. She definitely misunderstood my intentions, didn’t she?

 

“It can’t be helped then~ Mama will give up for today~”

 

Thank you for the understanding, Mom. Seeing her winking while snapping her finger made my tears dry up.

 

“Sorry, Sumireko-chan, can you do me the favor of accompanying Amatsuyu for the day?”

“I understand. Since that’s the case, I’ll be watching DVDs with you another time, Laurier-san.”

 

Oi, don’t you dare make up an excuse to come here again!

“It can’t be helped, Joro-kun. I’ll give you the opportunity to invite me to your room. This is a special occasion, so cherish it, okay?

 

What was she acting all high and mighty for?

 

“…Alright, follow me, Pansy.”

“Can you hold my hand? I might get lost along the way, you know?”

“Don’t get carried away!”

 

*   *   *

 

It had been fifteen minutes since my originally peaceful house had turned into the Frozen Hell Cocytus.

 

With the feeling of disgust that rose from the bottom of my heart, I invited Pansy to my room. Seriously, why did this happen?

 

“Sorry to bother you.”

 

As soon as she entered the room, her eyes scurried around. She clearly looked interested.

 

That was a quick reaction out of her in contrast to her usually calm demeanor.

 

Meanwhile, I slammed the door shut.

 

This was my attempt to prevent the sound from my room from leaking outside. I didn’t do this because I was about to do something illegal.

 

“You… I never expected that you’d use my mom like that…”

 

After I sat down on my bed, I let out my complaints against her.

 

I swear I’d punish this stalker who took advantage of a kind housewife’s feelings for her own benefit.

 

“You got it all wrong. Laurier-san was the one who invited me here today. I didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah, sure she did. You know it’s useless to lie to me, right?”

“You have zero trust in me, huh? Fine, let’s do it this way. I’ll show you the text she sent me earlier today.”

 

It was the first time I’ve ever seen a smartphone case with a tatami pattern on it. Oops, that wasn’t important, the mail was the important thing here.

 

[Sumireko-nyaan!~ If you have the time, do you mind coming to Laurier’s house, nyaan?~]

 

N-No way?! N-Nyan?!

 

“I really gave up on trying to come here, you know?”

 

Why did you look so smug as you said that, nyan?

 

“Anyway, how did you become friends with my mom?”

“I was reading a book inside a bookstore and she approached me out of nowhere. ‘Okada-kun played in that movie, didn’t he?’ she said. The book I was reading had a live-action adaptation and one of her favorite idols was in it. This happened a long time ago, I didn’t plan anything.” (T/N: Okada-kun here is Okada Junichi, a member of the boyband group V6 and a well-known movie actor.)

“Was it the one where the main character is a kamikaze pilot? I believe the title is…”

“‘The Eternal Jaro.’” (T/N: Reference to The Eternal Zero, a movie where the previously mentioned Okada Junichi starred as the main character of.)

 

That name sounded awfully similar to a certain ad review organization that we all knew and loved. (T/N: JARO as in the Japanese Ad Review Organization. That name is self-explanatory enough.)

 

“From then on, we occasionally met and talked about various novels that had been adapted into live action movies like ‘Botchan’ that has Ninomiya-kun in it. Or ‘No Longer Human’ that has Touma-kun in it. Honestly, I had no idea that she’s your mother. Nevertheless, it’s a pleasant surprise to me.” (T/N: Botchan is a novel by Natsume Soseki, it has a live action movie starring Ninomiya Kazunari, the Ninomiya-kun mentioned here. No Longer Human is a novel by Dazai Osamu, it has multiple movie adaptations, TV series adaptations and even anime adaptations, but the one Pansy mentioned here here is the 2010 movie adaptation by Arato Genjiro with the localized name of ‘The Fallen Angel.’ That’s the only adaptation with Toma Ikuta in it.)

 

The miraculous coincidence brought the bookworm and the idol fan together and as a price, I had to suffer a cruel fate.

 

“Are you convinced now?”

“…Yes, even though I hate to admit it.”

“Great. Now, let’s get into the main topic…”

 

After our conversation died down, Pansy scooted over to peek at what was hidden under my bed.

 

“Oi, what the hell are you doing?”

“Just a little treasure hunt.”

“Stop it.”

 

You demon king! But shame on you if you thought you’d be able to find my treasures there.

 

I had kept it in a secure place, which was…

 

Wait, she could read my mind, I shouldn’t disclose it!

 

“I don’t see anything here, then you might have hid it in the bookshelf? Probably replaced the real cover with something else?”

 

Too bad for her, that was another miss. But there was no reason for me to let her do whatever she wanted.

 

So, as she headed toward the bookshelf, I grabbed her arm.

 

“Oi, stop wandering around.”

“Let me go or else you’ll regret it, you know?”

“Don’t mess with me, I’ll regret nothing.”

“No, I’m being serious here. The time limit is approaching.”

“Stop speaking nonsense, I’m the one being serious here.”

“No, Joro-kun, you need to release me now… There’s no time…”

“Oh, shut up, stop complaining and do what I say—”

“Amatsuyu! Sumireko-chan! The madeleines and the tea are here!”

 

LIMIT BREAAAK! I did as she said and let her go.

 

“…Hm? Oh my, oh my…”

 

Oh no, she made that face. The face that a mom made when he witnessed his son trying to do something bad to a girl who clearly resisted him.

 

What should I do now?

 

“Did Mama intrude on something? Sorry, sorry, hehehe~”

“It’s fine, we haven’t started doing anything yet.”

“Mom, next time, can you knock before you enter the room?

“Fine~ I’ll leave the madeleines and the tea here, okay?~”

 

My mom entered the room and placed the plates and the tea on my desk.

 

After she was done with that, she took a glance at Pansy and said,

 

“Sumireko-chan, if you want to look for his naughty DVDs, it’s in the bottom of his desk’s drawer, just lift it with a ballpoint pen refill~”

“Mom, stop! Go back to the living room, don’t disturb us anymore!”

“Amatsuyu, scary~ Anyway, I’ll leave him in your care, Sumireko-chan~”

“Yes, thank you very much.”

 

Then, she left my room while waving her hand before closing the door.

 

She was my mom, right? She was supposed to be on my side, but why…

 

“Alright, let’s see…”

 

But, I didn’t have the leniency to care about my mom’s antics.

 

Pansy, who stood in front of me, had a ballpoint pen refill in her hand.

 

“Pansy, wait.”

“Yes?”

 

She turned toward me with a happy looking face.

 

Why the hell she had the most lively emotion whenever she was set to make my life a living hell?

 

“Sit here.”

“Okay.”

 

I patted on the spot right next to me and told her to take a seat there. She followed my instructions without making any noise. Hell, she looked happy as she did it. I wonder what kind of misunderstanding she had in her mind?

 

“Phew… All this excitement made me tired…”

 

She tried to put her head on my shoulder like it was the most natural thing to do, but I managed to dodge it as I stood up from my bed.

 

“Don’t you dare move from that spot. The moment you do, I swear I won’t show you any mercy.”

 

I looked down on her, who was sitting on my bed.

 

If she were to make any unnecessary moves, I’ll— wait…

 

Would he come out if I were to harm her here?

 

Her one and only friend. The giraffe stag beetle…

 

“Is Stinger-kun inside your bag right now?…”

“He should be latching on his favorite oak tree right now, ‘Spiritus’, to lick some of its sap.”

 

Safe! All cool! I heard that an oak tree sap had a high alcohol concentration, so that would keep him occupied for a while.

 

“Joro-kun. I’ve dressed myself up quite a bit today, did you notice?”

 

Pansy tried to show her appeal to me, but I didn’t care.

 

“Your socks are white.”

“I’ll give you half a point for that, try to get another half.”

“Your skirt is two centimeters shorter than usual.”

“Haah… Wrong. I made it two and a half centimeters shorter than usual. As usual, your eyesight is as rotten as a rotten egg.”

“Then, make sure that my rotten egg sight could see the difference next time.”

 

Half a centimeter difference was pretty much negligible.

 

“Does that imply you want me to dress myself up more for you?”

“You know exactly what I want. Take those glasses off, untie your braids and take off the binding on your chest.”

“…You really want to see it that badly?”

 

She sounded so lonely for some reason.

 

“Of course. I kept my promise to go to the library every day for this. I deserve this.”

 

Honestly, my frustration level had been rising up high to the point that I didn’t think that it was worth going to the library every day anymore. No matter how much I asked for it, she always greeted me in her braided four-eyes appearance.

 

On top of that, she always spouted venom on me every single day. I swear, every single day I spent with her were the worst days of my life.

 

“I have my own circumstances.”

 

Huh? Her tone was heavier than usual.

 

“Circumstances?”

“A demon is going after me. The reason why I’m in this form is because I’m hiding from it. I really need someone to protect me.”

 

Now, that was interesting. This was still the second volume of the series, we shouldn’t have entered the ‘Otherworldly Battle Arc’ yet, we should have waited until the story was developed further.

 

The editor in charge of this series also hadn’t told me anything about this.

 

“Stop talking nonsense.”

“You should make the effort to understand me, Joro-kun.”

“Sure, but I need an advance payment for that effort. We’re in my room now and didn’t you tell me that you’ll show me your true appearance here?”

“Fine.”

“I knew it, you have no intention of keeping your words— Wait, what did you just say?”

“I said, ‘fine.’ You want to see it that badly, huh?”

 

Eh? Really? Was she really going to do it for me? Wait, calm down, me!

Pansy wouldn’t lie to me, but that wouldn’t stop her from manipulating and deceiving me with her glib tongue.

 

“So, you’ll take off your glasses, untie your braids and take off your chest binding for me?”

“Yes. I’m a woman of my word, I always keep my promise. So, will you turn around while I change? It’s…embarrassing…”

“O-Okay…”

 

I turned around in a panic as I went to the corner of the room in excitement.

 

Then, from behind me, I heard the sound of rustling clothes.

 

Ohhh! She was changing for real this time! Finally, the time for— Wait!

 

Calm down, think of what happened just now.

 

Just a moment ago, when I grabbed Pansy’s hand, a certain fake heroine came barging into the room.

 

And now, I was standing in front of the same door she entered from.

 

In other words, this was the kind of pattern where I’d get too excited and my mom suddenly barged in to enter the room. She’d use an excessive amount of force to open the door, creating a huge momentum that’d push me toward Pansy and then a misunderstanding would ensue!

 

I knew it, I could hear her footsteps coming!

 

But, everything would be okay since I saw this coming.

 

You see, my room was protected with a certain safety measure, a piece of wonder that modern technology gave birth to. A lock.

 

“Close! Sesame!”

 

Phew… I’m safe now… *clack*

 

“Amatsuyu? Do you have any laundry?”

 

The sound came from the balcony! My window was unlocked!

I immediately turned my body around to prevent her from misunderstanding the situation.

 

“Wait a minute, mom! Let me explain the situation first… nya…”

“Why did you turn around? I told you not to do it, didn’t I?”

 

…Right. She was in the middle of changing.

 

Of course I’d end up seeing her when I turned my body around. But, can I say something in this situation?

 

Why was she taking off her chest binding first before her glasses and her braid?

 

No matter how big her breasts were, her braided four-eyed appearance would just negate their charm.

 

“You, what did you make Sumireko-chan do?!”

 

 

Oh no, this wasn’t the time to be stunned by the big chested braided four-eyes.

 

My mom rushed to my side at supersonic speed.

 

“W-Wait, I didn’t do anything!”
“Were you expecting to get a lucky sukebe moment, Joro-kun?’

 

It was more of an unlucky sukebe moment for me.

 

You covered your important parts with your uniform, great, but could you please, not come at me like that? …Or else, something bad would happen…

 

“Amatsuyu! I told you to only do something like this after you’re turning 18!”
“You didn’t keep your word, so you’ll have to be punished, Joro-kun.”
“S-Sorry! I apologize! Please forgive me!”

 

But my apologies fell onto deaf ears. The permed housewife stood in front of me menacingly while the big chested four eyes held a book in her hand and…

 

“Ow! It hurts!!”

 

My right cheek was punched, meanwhile my left cheek was hit by Fabre’s Book of Insect.

 

It was a novel experience, as stated in the Gospel of Joro, Chapter 5, Verse 39.

 

As I was writhing on the floor while thinking about that, my mom grabbed me by the collar.

 

“Put on your clothes, Sumireko-chan. Amatsuyu, you come with me!”

 

Then, she dragged me out of my room… Wait, that meant Pansy would be alone in my room! Mom, wait! She had a ballpoint pen refill in her hand! No! STOOOOP!

 

“Mom, let me go, please! If you don’t, my room will be—”

“No.”

 

NOOOOOOOO!

 

TL: Iyo

ED: Iyo

 

 

Support me on Ko-fi!