Mandarin Orange, Kotatsu, And A Found Cat - Chapter 86 Memories Of Abandonment

In the doorway, I stared at Miku’s mother.
This was probably the first time I have seen this person’s face so firmly.

She has a beautiful face that clearly showed that she has the same blood as Miku-san.
However, her expression reflected only surprise, and I was standing in the middle of her gaze.

Just as she did not speak, I could not utter a word.
Perhaps it was just hubris that my life with Tsukiyama-san had made me considerably less averse to the conversation.

“Who are you?”

It was Miku’s mother who broke the long silence.
I could feel under my skin that the words were thrown at me in a cold and harsh tone.

However, I am grateful that she was willing to listen to what I had to say.
It seemed that I would not be kicked out or called for help.

Was this because I was still young in appearance or because I was wearing the same clothes as Tsukiyama-san?
I was sure that if I had thought it through, I could have come up with an excuse or two.

“I…am…”

The reason I couldn’t do that was not only because I was not a good talker.
In my head, filled with impatience and nervousness, I kept thinking only about Tsukiyama-san.

Perhaps if I told her that I was related to Tsukiyama-san, they might accept me. Of course, that much immediately came to mind.
But if I failed to give a good explanation, the responsibility would fall on Tsukiyama-san.
Even if it wasn’t to that extent, it is evident that I would cause her trouble.

“Can’t you explain?”

Miku-san’s mother asked me in an even colder tone of voice.
Even so, I could not answer anything. No matter what explanation I gave, I was sure she would not accept it.
In addition, I would make those two precious people feel bad because of me. I wanted to avoid that at all costs.

“Haa…I didn’t think the security in this house was this lax. I wonder what we hired a housekeeper for…”

I gulped at the words that come out of her mouth.
When she saw me and could tell that I was not a threat to harm her, she began to complain.
It was obvious where the point of contention was coming from.

“Miku-san, too, these days, whenever she opens her mouth, it’s all about cats… I forgave her because Tsukiyama-san said so, but I guess I was wrong after all.”

I wonder if something she had been holding back came off.
It was as if she was reading my mind, and the words were pointing that way.

I felt a feeling welling up inside me that I had never felt before.
Not just anger. Not just sadness. Not just frustration.

For the first time, those feelings were so strong that I even forgot to control everything that had been suppressed until then.

“…No.”

I found myself spilling out, consumed by the overflowing emotions.
The mother of Miku-san looked at me quizzically as I suddenly changed my demeanor.

“Both Tsukiyama-san and Miku-san…are very kind and nice people.”
“What…are you saying? What do you know?”

She looked puzzled and even a little frightened.
She looked more alarmed than before and took only one step backward from me.

My mouth, which was about to move, stopped in its tracks at the sight of her.
There was no merit in me saying anything more.
I can’t change the way Miku-san’s mother thinks. It was not for the sake of those two precious people.

“…no, I’m sorry. It’s nothing.”

I grabbed the hem of my apron and hold back, inhaling my overflowing feelings.
There was nothing more I can tell her. There was no reason for me to be here.

I have many regrets, and I have yet to repay my debt to the two of them.
But if I stay in front of her any longer, I will not be doing them a favor, but rather, I will be avenging.

I bowed my head to the woman in front of me.

“I’m sorry for coming without permission. I will leave immediately.”

I bowed deeply, and when I looked up, she was standing there with a blank expression on her face.
I bowed my head once more, walked past her, and opened the front door.

“W-Wait!”

I ignored her voice as she tried to stop me, and without saying a word, I run out into the outside world.
I left my jacket on, my maid’s uniform, and everything else behind.

I had never run so fast in human form before.
My legs did not turn properly and I almost fell, but I kept running.

Even when I was too tired to run, I never stopped. I kept moving forward, aiming for a place where no one knew me and where I would never be found.
By the time the sun began to set, I had exhausted my energy and sat on a bench nearby, staring at the sky.

Just yesterday, I had been so happy.
Although my body temperature had risen with physical exertion, my heart was lonely and cold, with the sensation of a gaping hole in it.

I don’t want to remember much after that.

I had nowhere to live and no one to rely on.
I had become accustomed to the sight of people, and my life as a stray cat was not going well.

Just like that time, I was picked up by someone several times.
But there was no place where I could feel the warmth like that time.

Even those who were kind to me at first abandoned me when things didn’t go their way.
But that was inevitable for them. There was no reason for me to complain about it.

I thought to myself, If I look like a human being, they will keep me for a long time because of the rarity of my appearance.
It occurred to me, and I quickly discarded the thought.
It was obvious that the risk was higher, and I didn’t dare to take action in the first place.

As I repeated these days and thoughts over and over again, I soon lost sight of even the meaning of my life.
Before I knew it, the seasons were changing, the days were getting shorter, and a cold wind blew through the city like my heart.

It was a morning of pure white snow that day.
The owner of the house I had rolled into a few days earlier still did leave me.
They put me in an empty cardboard box and dumped me in an alleyway along with a small blanket.

It was so cold in the morning. It was easy to imagine what would happen to me if I stayed here in this silver world.
And yet, I couldn’t move my body as I expected. I couldn’t even muster the energy to move.

“(Miku-san…Tsukiyama-san…)”

The faces of the people I had thought I would forget about suddenly came back to my mind.

…Where in the world did I go wrong?
They cared for me as a cat so much and guided me as a person so much.
Why couldn’t I have behaved better?

Thinking about it now won’t change anything. That fact made my heart tighten even more.

“(If…I could meet people like those two again…)”

That wish was the only hope I had kept in my heart since I ran away from that house.
But this bitterness now was probably due to that wish as well.

…But still.
If there is still a chance.
If there was someone like those two who could find me—

On that snowy day, I raised my voice to that cold sky.
…I’m sure this was the end.