I Was Hired As A Tutor By A Cute Little Devilish Junior - Chapter 53 Goal
“I have something to tell Senpai.”
Shiina said this and told me about her past.
Now that I thought about it, I had no idea about her past.
She told me about a boy she met when she was in middle school. She did not tell me his name, but I immediately knew who she was referring to.
The characterization of her past self and all the little details was identical to my memories without any difference.
And then she spoke.
“I was in love with that person.”
She said these words with a serious expression on her face. I gulped; her feelings pierced my heart.
“This concludes my old story. And the feelings I had then are the same now. And that led us to where we are now.”
“…I see. So living alone was part of that plan.”
“I had actually planned to move out as soon as I graduated from middle school. But I was forced to stay here.”
The question that had bothered me from the beginning has now been answered.
It seems that her living alone was all for me…to make time for me.
I couldn’t believe that she did it for me, but I was more amazed that she acted on it and did it.
In my life, I had not been involved in love at all.
Some time ago, I told Shiina that I had been confessed to once in the past.
The story itself was not very memorable, and I turned it down. And even if I had said yes to that confession, I don’t think it would have been love.
My idea of love had been influenced by dramas and manga, and had become a very vague existence.
But perhaps there was nothing in my mind at that time that could be called love.
I thought it was something more natural and fleeting, something I probably wouldn’t even notice.
I knew this because of her, of all people.
I didn’t like to lie much. I was also not much of a liar to begin with.
That was why I have never told her an obvious lie before.
But what I said to Shiina’s father just a few minutes ago may have been a lie.
“She was irreplaceable to me.”
There was no big difference between the meaning of those words and my true feelings. The words themselves were not a lie.
However, something was missing to express my current feelings.
My feelings for her were not as simple and shallow as those words suggest. I realized that as she spoke.
And if I were to express my feelings with the words I know now, the closest thing I could come up with would probably be…
“Shiina, I want to respond to your feelings. I want to make sure you know how I feel too.”
“I’m sorry, Senpai. That’s no good.”
“Eh…?”
She interrupted me without losing her serious expression. As I froze, unable to catch up with her meaning, Shiina squeezed my hand again.
“This is about my selfish pride, feelings, and all that. But there is one big thing that is important to me.”
“One big thing…?”
She took a deep breath. Then, she closed her eyes and carefully said each word.
“I wasn’t fair. I forced Senpai to be my tutor, and we had some time alone together. Of course, I have no regrets about that choice. It was the best I could do in my own way.”
“Yeah.”
“But that’s unfair. I don’t know what Senpai or others will think. However, I’m not convinced that this is the perfect way to obtain love.”
“That’s…”
“In the end, it’s my heart’s unfamiliar pride. But that’s why I can’t leave this mess behind.”
Shiina took my hand in hers and placed it on her own heart.
I felt it beating as fast as my heart. But I felt a strange sensation that it was beating in a somewhat sad way.
Shiina’s feelings and mine, while ostensibly the same, were of a completely different color.
Maybe it was something I didn’t understand or couldn’t comprehend, but it must be something incredibly big and important to her.
And if she was not satisfied with it, then I had to wait and see.
“What do you want to do, Shiina?”
“I…”
My eyes met hers.
Those beautiful eyes stared at me, and I saw my face in the reflections.
After a little while, she seemed to have come to a conclusion. Her brow furrowed and her lips pursed.
Then she slowly opened her mouth.
“I want to make some kind of settlement within myself. I want a result that I can be proud of, something that Senpai will approve of.”
“That’s…?”
“We have a final exam before the summer break. It may be very straightforward. But I thought it would be the best way to show respect for Senpai and the efforts I put in.”
She huffed and took a small breath.
“I’m aiming for first place on my next final exam.”
“…Seriously?”
“I’m serious. I don’t know if this would make sense or if Senpai would agree. But inside of me, I figured this was the best thing to do.”
Shiina laid out her words with a serious look in her eyes.
This was something I didn’t mention much, but the high school we were attending was of a high-level one, even within the prefecture.
It didn’t have any outstanding achievements or school culture, nor was it particularly popular.
That being said, many of the students here were very serious and had excellent grades. Even if they put only a little effort into their studies, they could definitely make it into the top ten.
If you want to be at the top of the class, of course, you need to study hard. And of course, a little luck was also necessary.
As Shiina knew, it was no easy task. However, if she was taking this as a punishment for herself, it shows how serious she was about it.
My feelings were already set and I would never change them or abandon her. But if she wanted it, there was no reason for me to reject it.
“I understand. But I don’t want it to be a burden on Shiina. Don’t overdo it.”
“I’m fine with doing anything for Senpai. Please don’t underestimate a girl in love.”
“Really?”
I laughed and said something back to Shiina, who winked at me and tried to make a strong fist with her thin arms.
“Yes, I am. So, when I get the results, please let me tell you how I feel again.”
“Alright. You’re going to have to start putting some effort into your studies now.”
“Yes.”
Shiina smiled at my words.
Somewhere in my heart, I felt relieved to see her cheerful face as usual.
Then, after a slightly early lunch, we resumed studying again in the afternoon.
If Shiina was serious about getting first place in her class, she must take the appropriate measures.
So far, her spare time had been devoted mainly to preparatory studies, but there was no way she could not make use of that time.
It was not so difficult to just raise the score, but if we were aiming for perfection, different measures were required.
At any rate, while Shiina was finishing the assignment which she had stopped earlier, I was thinking about the countermeasure.
Shiina had said that she wasn’t sure if it was right to receive help from me, but I had her take back that point.
If Shiina was going to work hard, my pride would not allow me to just watch her without supporting her.
I convinced Shiina that it was my job to tutor her, and I decided to give my full cooperation to help her get first place in her class.
“Um, Senpai.”
“What’s wrong, Shiina?”
“Umm…I’m sorry you had to go along with my selfishness.”
“What are you talking about now? I’m Shiina’s tutor, I’ll go out with you as long as you want.”
“Ehehe, thank you.”
Shiina giggled happily as I patted her on the head.
Then, Shiina shifted slightly to the side and leaned against me, before resuming her studies.
I felt at ease with her, as usual, and stroked her hair as I turned my attention back to my desk as well.
Thus began Shiina’s studies for the final exam.
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Chowderboi
There was no actual need at all to let this confession drag on.