I Was Hired As A Tutor By A Cute Little Devilish Junior - Chapter 39 Sad

“Azusa-chan, long time no see!”
“Kohei-kun!”

A boy suddenly appeared and called Shiina by her first name.
When Shiina saw the boy’s face, she also said his name with a surprised expression.

The boy, whom Shiina called Kohei-kun, approached Shiina with his fresh smile, and when he was right in front of Shiina, he loosened his face and raised one hand in a happy manner, saying, “Yo.”

“I saw you from a distance and thought maybe it was you. I guess your aura has changed a bit.”
“Kohei-kun, you’ve gotten so much cooler in a short while! I didn’t recognize you at all.”
“Really? Thank you, Azusa-chan.”

Shiina and Kohei are having a very friendly conversation. Kohei’s face was quite neat, he was about the same height as me, and he had a well-balanced muscular body that could be called thin macho.
To put it simply, handsome was the best word to describe him. That was how cool he was, as Shiina said.

As far as I could tell, the two of them were probably friends from middle school, or maybe they had some other relationship.
They call each other by their first names, so it is easy to predict that they were quite close.

It was not a situation where I, as an outsider, could interfere, so I silently watched from behind Shiina.
That was all I could do, but for some reason, my heart was buzzing.
A flashback of this morning’s dream, which had almost disappeared from my memory, flashed through my brain, accelerating my blood.

Every time Kohei smiled at Shiina, I felt as if something stabbed me in the heart, and every time Shiina smiled back at him, I felt as if a hole had appeared somewhere in my heart.
And I had no idea why I was feeling that way.

A close friend from Shiina’s past just happened to be here.
Shiina was just chatting happily with him.
That was right. It was a dream-like scene that was happening right in front of my eyes.

That was all there was to it, so why do I feel so uncomfortable? Why does it make me feel so lonely?
There was no sign of an answer, so I just waited for them to finish their conversation.

In the end, Shiina and Kohei-kun didn’t stand around talking for very long, and they split, saying that they would call or email each other later.
Shiina apologized to me for making me wait, but there was nothing wrong with either of them
I just replied, “I didn’t mind,” and went back to Shiina’s house.

　＊　＊　＊

As usual, I visited Shiina’s house and sat down at her desk to start studying.
We started with a review of today’s lesson, and Shiina neatly compiled the notes on the table.
I just watched from the side and checked the scope of the lesson Shiina had taken today.

“Ah, Senpai. I’ve been wondering about this in class today. The example here…Senpai?”
“…”
“Murakami-senpai!”
“Whoa. W-What’s so sudden?”

I was surprised to see Shiina’s face suddenly appear in front of me, just a few centimeters away, and she pouted in a grimace.

“Mou, Senpai. You’re acting strange today.”
“No, I’m not.”
“No way. I know everything about Senpai!”

Shiina said it more strongly than usual.
Do you know everything about me? If that were the case, I wouldn’t have had to go through all this trouble in a way.
As I fell silent, thinking about such a truly shameful thing, Shiina once again slowly looked into my face again.

“Senpai…are you sure you’re okay?”

This time, she gazed into my eyes with her dimmed eyes with a sad expression.

“I hate seeing Senpai feel down…Even if I’m just one kouhai to Senpai, Senpai is the only teacher that matters to me. I don’t want Senpai to look sad in front of me…!”
“Sh-Shiina…”

Her words pierced my heart. What am I letting her say to me?
I wondered how much unnecessary worry I had caused her just by worrying about a small thing.

Just the other day, I had told her that Shiina was an important person to me, but now I was making her think that even that was a misunderstanding.
And based on that, she was concerned for me.

“…If I’ve done something wrong, I apologize. If you are unhappy with something, I will fix it. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say, so…”

Before the rest of her words could come from her mouth, I pulled her body to me and closed her mouth. (EDN: It’s not a kiss sadge.)
This was the first time I’ve touched her body of my own volition, other than when we held hands unexpectedly.
Her body was slender, with a softness unique to girls, and I felt as if I could break her if I put too much pressure on her.

“Hiya, S-S-Senpai?”

Naturally, she was clearly distraught, and she couldn’t quite get her words out.
I was so disappointed and shameful that I immediately hugged her to prevent her from saying anything more, but it was indeed too much.
I felt a little bit of shame rising up in me, so I took her by the shoulders and let go of her body.

“S-Sorry. It was too sudden…”
“N-No…W-What’s wrong…?”
“No, I did it on the spur of the moment. I know you didn’t like it, and I’m really sorry.”

Even though it was a reflexive action, it was outrageous to suddenly hug a girl.
If this had stepped on Shiina’s feelings even more…

“I-It’s not like…I don’t not like it you know?”
“Eh?”
“U-Umm. If Senpai touches me, I-I don’t…mind it.”

I was so shocked when Shiina told me this that I couldn’t help but feel my heart stop.
W-What is this? What a cute response from her…
She usually teases me with a devilish smile, but her reaction now was so unexpected. It’s kind of unfair, isn’t it?

“So, uh…If you really want to do something like that, you can…okay?”

As she said this, Shiina stretched out her hands in a hurry.
It was, as she said, her intention to allow me to hug her.
Her cheeks were red, and her eyes were wandering here and there, but she finally looked up at me with an upward glance.

My instinct was to hug her to my heart’s content, but my demon reasoning kept me from doing so, and I let go of her hand.
I couldn’t help but notice that she had a somewhat lonely look in her eyes, and I couldn’t help but look away.

My heart was beating so hard and fast that my breathing became erratic, and it was probably a good thing that I kept Shiina away from me.
For some reason, today’s Shiina was even more heartbreaking than usual.

“Sh-Shiina…?”
“What is it?”
“You know, you shouldn’t say things like that so casually.”
“What is that…?”
“That…is. Like, I can touch you, I can hug you, those…”
“…!”

It was only now that Shiina realized the mistake she had made.
Perhaps it was because she was so embarrassed, but her face was much redder than before, and she was shivering.

“You can’t say something like that in front of a man, even if it’s a lie.”
“I would only say something like that to Senpai, and I’m not even lying!”
“What…”
“…”

It’s not a lie!
In the end, she couldn’t even bear to look up at me, so she plopped down on the desk with her face down.
Even in that state, her expression was obvious to me due to the fact that even her ears were stained red.

Today’s Shiina has become a habitual self-destructor, perhaps because she was overly worried and has a gap in her heart.
I was able to see a side of Shiina that I don’t usually get to see, so I was satisfied, even if I am sorry.

“A-Anyway. I’m a man too. Be careful with what you say and do…”
“Y-Yes…”

She replied in a muddled and shaky voice through the desk.

However, it was my shamelessness that caused Shiina to be embarrassed by what happened. I can’t afford to cause her any more trouble.
I had to pull myself together, so I made a decision about the guy.

I don’t think I have any romantic feelings for Shiina. She was just an important student.
After all, as a man, I must have developed a feeling of possessiveness.

But it was impossible to tell Shiina that.
What kind of feelings does Shiina have for that Kohei-kun? I can’t concentrate on tutoring if I keep worrying about that.

From now on, I have to be aware of my place as a tutor and treat Shiina with a new awareness.
With that kind of enthusiasm, I told Shiina.

“Okay. I’m fine now. I’m sorry for making you worry.”
“A-Are you sure you’re okay…?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I wasted your time. Come on, let’s continue.”
“Y-Yes!”

Then we resumed our studies, not daring to mention the fact that our blushes had not yet subsided.