I (30), Who Works for a Black Company and Died While Regretting My Gloomy Life, Started Over From High School! - Chapter 59

59. This time, I won’t betray my sister’s smile.

“Why didn’t you quit that company…?”

In a room at the funeral home, I was stunned by my sister’s words.

But I couldn’t respond in any way.

I couldn’t accept the fact that my mother was in a rectangular box in front of me, a coffin, and I felt like I was having a bad dream.

The cause of death was myocardial infarction. [TLN: It’s basically a heart attack.]

The doctor in charge said that her heart must have been weakened by chronic stress.

“Mom always said that. She said you’re getting thinner and thinner, and your body is breaking down. And whenever I call you, you seem to be incredibly busy. I’m worried about you.”

Kanako said this while turning her tear-stained eyes toward me with an anger that must have been building up in her heart for a long time.

“Because of all this worrying, she hasn’t had a smile on her face for almost a decade. Especially in the last few years, her body has been getting weaker and weaker. … All the doctors said that stress is a big factor, but… I can’t help but think that too…!”

Kanako, dressed in a black mourning dress, speaks of my sins in her beautifully grown figure.

…Of my foolishness that will never be forgiven.

“I’ve told you over and over again! I want you to quit that horrible company! She doesn’t want to worry about you any more than she already does! But you didn’t listen! You knew your company was garbage, but you didn’t do anything to change the status quo because it was too hard!”

Everything was on point.

I’ve known for a long time that there was something wrong with the company I work for.

Yet I did nothing about it.

I didn’t do anything about it, because it was a tremendous pain to even think about doing it.

“Why are you like that? You’ve always been like this! Dark and gloomy, doing nothing, never reaching out for what’s important! It’s so much easier to be used up at someone else’s convenience without a second thought!”

Tears overflowing from my sister’s screaming eyes wet the floor of the funeral home.

And I can’t respond to a single word she said.

I’m not qualified to reply.

“What the hell did you want to do? Did you want to shorten Mom’s lifespan and dedicate your life to a garbage company…?! If only you had moved somewhere else, Mom might not have died so quickly…!”

I just accept the resentment.

Every time my sister’s tears spill, my heart is torn apart by the weight of my sin.

“…Why… why are you so stupid…?!”

That was my last memory of Kanako in my previous life.

It was the moment when the family was torn apart and the Nihama family completely disappeared.

“It’s hot…the summer…” (ED: Ah, yes, this floor is indeed made of floor)

“Yeah, it’s summer. It’s time to spend money on sun protection…”

It was the end of the first semester, a little after my school had started its summer vacation.

Kanako and I were walking together in the city, the temperature so hot that a shimmer was forming over the heated asphalt.

I was dressed in a simple short-sleeved shirt and cotton pants, while Kanako was dressed like a junior high school gal in a bordered T-shirt with exposed shoulders and denim shorts.　

As an older brother, I thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to show her shoulders and legs, no matter how hot it was in the summer.

“What? Don’t interfere with my ‘cute’ look, big brother. A girl will die if you stop her from dressing up, you know?”

It’s hard to say.

“Well, I admit that it’s actually cute, and it looks good on you. But when you suddenly said, ‘I’m going out, come with me!’ I was wondering what was going on when you told me out of the blue that you were going to go out with me…”

“It’s okay. You were free during summer vacation anyway, right? There’s nothing more meaningful than walking around town with your cute little sister.”

The way my sister smiles with her hair in twin tails is indeed devilishly cute.

It’s no wonder she’s so popular with the boys at school.

“Oh, well… At least I might have reaffirmed that women shop for a very long time.”

We went to several boutiques today, and my sister spent a lot of time shopping for cute things.

In spite of this, we often leave the store without buying anything, and for all the time we’ve spent, I’ve only got one paper bag of results for the day.

“Oh, that’s an NG word! I mean, my brother should be a little more understanding of a girl’s passion for shopping!”

“The passion… for shopping…?”

“Yes! Shopping is a fun thing for girls! And, unlike men, it’s the time spent wandering that’s the fun part! ‘That’s cute!’ or something like ‘This is too expensive!’ And I love it when we talk about shopping! That’s the eternal and unchanging nature of girls, so boys have to smile and watch over them no matter how boring they are!”

Oh, my God…

I just nodded to the usual guidance of Kanako-sensei.

I guess that’s really what it is, since they even threw in powerful words like “the eternal and unchanging nature of girls…”.

“And earlier, when I asked you, ‘Which one of these looks better?’ You got a score of 40 when I asked what you thought! You also said ‘I think this one is more in line with Kanako’s image.’ Which is not a bad line in itself, but what the girl who asked the question wants is empathy! I want the boys to have to worry about which one looks better on the girl, so they need to spend a little more time thinking about it and give the impression that they really think about it!”

“Hey, is there such a thing as a hidden score?”

As for me, I think I answered the one that would suit Kanako intuitively

Does it mean that if you make a quick decision, it looks like you’re not taking it seriously?

“Oh, also… To tell you the truth, in many cases, the girl has already decided which one she wants by the time she asks you, ‘Which one do you want?’”

“What? Then why are you asking a man!”

“As I said before, the main reason is because ‘I want my boyfriend to be troubled,’ and there are times when “I want a word of encouragement.” I’ve actually decided on A, but it’s not a cheap purchase, and I just can’t make up my mind. So I asked, ‘Isn’t A good?’ That’s what I’m trying to say. By the way, if you hit it right, you get a extra bonus!”

“Yeah, what is that? You want guys to be espers?”

If this were a gal game with random correct answer choices, players would be furious.

“There are many possible responses, though, like answering the question ‘Which one looks the best?’ with ‘Yeah, I think that suits you!’ and encouraging them to choose that outfit. I can make a good guess as to which of the two outfits you were staring at.”

“I don’t know if there are that many things to check when you’re just shopping…”

Shopping for a woman is scary!

I thought couples on a date were just enjoying chatting in a pink atmosphere , but I didn’t know such tests were being conducted behind the scenes…?

“Well, as long as you answer seriously, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. And I’m not so sure about a girl who gets grumpy just because someone missed a quiz on which one looks better on her.”

“I’m a little relieved to hear that. …We’re both sweating a lot, as expected. Do you want to go to a coffee shop?”

I’m still in good shape from all the running I’ve been doing, but Kanako is looking a little tired. I don’t want her to get a heat stroke.

“I’m in! I’m in! Yes, yes, the basic idea is to show you care like that, brother! After all, being kind is the most powerful thing! Oh, if you buy a girl a parfait here, you’ll get a lot of bonus points, so practice it right away!”

“That’s what you want to eat, isn’t it?”

Don’t try to hawk it after you’ve dragged people around with you!

“Oh, you know! But it doesn’t matter! If anything, you owe me a parfait as compensation for letting you be the big brother to such a cute little sister!”

“Don’t mess this up, you shoulder-baring middle-schooler! In the first place, you’ve been gobbling up lunch and dinner lately! You’ll get fat if you eat a parfait or something!”

“Wait, you’re gonna say that? The biggest no-no for girls! In the first place, it’s my brother’s fault for making Italian-style cutlets, beef stroganoff, and other tasty dishes just because he has some spare time during summer vacation!”

“Don’t shift the blame after every second serving of rice, you idiot!”

We started a fight without even looking at the people around us, and we yelled and yelled at each other in the traffic under the sun.

This continued until we were both so sweaty that we could feel the weight of our clothes on each other and came to the empty realization:

“What are we both doing in this fcking heat?”


TL: Helena
ED: Tom
TLN: Thanks for tom for editing this chapter. You can get announcement by joining our discord server