I (30), Who Works for a Black Company and Died While Regretting My Gloomy Life, Started Over From High School! - chapter 25

TL: Uncle Netori

ED: Anima

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Nightmares and Knee Pillow

 

“Hmmm…”

 

While I was in a daze, I raised my head from the desk where I had been resting.

 

Hmmm, what was I doing ……?

 

Oh, …… that’s right.

 

I was talking with everyone at the after-party of the cultural festival and …….

 

“Did I …… fall asleep? When did I ……”

 

My blurred vision gradually became clearer.

 

And then my surroundings soon became clearer and clearer.

 

“What ……?

 

Then I noticed.

 

It’s not the school desk that I was resting my head on originally.

 

It’s an office desk with a computer on it.

 

“What’s going on here ……?”

 

Confused by the things that are not supposed to be in the classroom, I realize that the clothes I am currently wearing are not a part of my school uniform.

 

I was wearing a suit, a shirt, slacks, and a tie, the perfect office worker attire.

 

“Oh, …… eh ……?”

 

When I checked out my surroundings, I realized that I was not in a school classroom.

 

A ceiling soiled with cigarette smoke.

 

Peeling walls with many cracks from aging.

 

Cabinets packed with disorganized documents.

 

Office desks lined up and computers sitting on top of them.

 

The sight looked so familiar to me that my whole blood went cold as ice.

　

This place is …… no way, no way …….

 

“You’re napping in a very good position, you scum.”

 

” Eh! …….”

 

The moment I heard that voice – I felt a twisting pain in my stomach.

 

Because the disgusting voice that echoed through the office was hauntingly familiar.

 

“Section …… chief …….”

 

It was the very definition of fear to me, a man who could only complain and curse when he opened his …… mouth. My Boss

 

A greasy, obese man in his fifties was staring at me with an eye that seemed to lack any shred of conscience.

 

“What’s going on …… I was in the classroom …… with everyone.”

 

“Oh, classroom? Ha, what are you day dreaming about, you stupid piece of shit?”

 

” D-Dream ……?”

 

What are you talking about?

 

It was definitely not a dream.

 

I went back in time to start over, to get what I had lost.

 

“I don’t know what kind of amusing dreams you’ve been having! Your reality is over here!”

 

No, it’s not. This is a lie.

 

This is not real.

 

It can’t be real.

 

“Now, it’s time for some fun-filled work, Nihama.”

 

A pile of files and papers are placed on my desk.

 

The amount of paperwork piled up on my desk was beyond what I could finish even if I stayed up all night every day.

 

“There will be no rest. I won’t allow you to quit. You’re going to work here like a workhorse. Tomorrow, the next day, the day after. And the day after that! That’s what your whole life is going to be like!”

　

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

 

 My life is not going to be like that.

 

I’m going to change the future so that it won’t happen.

 

“You’ve been dreaming a lot, haven’t you?”

 

Stop.

 

Don’t say another word.

 

“But you’re awake now, aren’t you? I know what you’ve been dreaming about–“

 

You’re wrong.

 

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. ……!

 

“It’s all a convenient delusion, you know.”

 

A voice with a dark, hardened, oily smirk coiled around me. 

 

Everything around me is so familiar.

 

A voice whispers silently to me that this is the place where I belong.

 

『Did you really think you could redo the past in the first place?』

 

There was a voice in my head, and it wasn’t the Chief’s voice.

 

It sounded unfamiliar, but it was also the most familiar voice I’ve heard in my life.

 

Oh I see, this is my own voice.

 

『Have you gotten along with Shijoin-san? Will you eventually make her your girlfriend?』

 

『Have you been able to grow closer with your sister and talk to each other with a smile?』

 

『Did you reunite with your deceased mother?』

 

『Did you make the cultural festival a success and receive the gratitude of your classmates?』

 

『 All of it, all of it, all of it, it was just your own delusion.』

 

『Everything is just a delusional dream of a pitiful man at the end of his life.』

 

The voices in my head were mocking me.

 

Such a convenient dream is nothing but a delusion.

 

The mockery is directly penetrating my heart.

 

My ability to think is fading, and my mind is losing belief in hope.

 

Is that really …… the case?

 

Did I just only dream about the …… desires I craved for all this time?

 

(Everything I’ve been experiencing …… is just a convenient dream ……)

 

Despair spreads through me like a black coal tar.

 

The heat drained from my heart and I began to feel freezing cold.

 

My heart was shattered, and everything became empty.

 

Then, just when all hope was about to vanish from my heart.

 

I felt something warm touch my cheek.

 

“Eh ……?

 

The tremendous warmth slowly melted my frozen heart.

 

At the same time, the pitch black despair disappeared like a shadow illuminated by the sun.

 

This is …….

 

I know this warmth.

 

The one that always inspires me. The most important driving force in my heart.

 

She is the most important thing in my life.

 

She’s the one who always brings light and heat to my heart.

 

“Shijoin-san ……!”

 

I said her name with a sense of relief, as if the despair I had felt just a moment ago had never existed.

 

◇　　◇　　◇

 

My name is Haruka Shijoin.

 

I’m currently watching over Nihama-kun as he sleeps soundly in the classroom with just the two of us.

 

After the party was over, as I was cleaning up the trash from the snacks, I noticed that Nihama-kun had somehow fallen asleep on a seat we had made for the takoyaki cafe.

 

Of course I had to wake him up, but knowing how tired he was from the hard work he had done today, I took the key of the classroom from Kazamihara-san and stayed together with the sleeping Nihama-kun while everyone else went home.

 

There was still some time before the closing time of school.

 

I wanted to let Nihama-kun sleep until then.

 

“It was a great cultural festival, wasn’t it, Nihama-kun?”

 

I muttered to myself, surrounded by the set-up of the Takoyaki Cafe, which had finished its role.

 

Yes, this cultural festival was fun.

 

And the one who brought that happiness to me and the rest of the class was the boy who is now sleeping in front of me.

 

I was so happy when everyone expressed their heartfelt gratitude to him at the party.

 

Everyone acknowledged his efforts, and my heart was filled with joy as everyone’s feelings warmed Nihama-kun’s heart.

 

(However, there were also times when I felt a little uncomfortable, though I never told anyone about it.)

 

For example, Kazamihara-san and Fumihashi-san.

 

They both started talking to Nihama-kun during the cultural festival, but when the girls smiled at him, my heart started to buzz.

 

To be honest, I don’t know why myself.

 

I’m very happy that Nihama-kun is gaining everyone’s trust, but why do I feel uncomfortable when the girls get too close with him?

 

“Mmm ……, especially Kazamihara-san. ……”

 

The two of them spent a lot of time together at the festival as the executive committee members and as advisors. It’s hard to read Kazamihara-san’s emotions because of her slow pace, but she was always favorable towards Nihama-kun and complimented him several times.

 

It’s not surprising, since he’s such a dependable person. ……

 

” Nihama-kun also seems to be somewhat casual towards Kazamihara-san and Fumihashi-san …….”

 

To Kazamihara-san, he said, “You’re putting me on the spot too much, aren’t you?”  And to Fumihashi-san, he said, ” Stop making that face like you’re about to cry! I’ll figure it out!” But to me, he was too gentlemanly, saying, “If you’re okay with me, I’ll always help you.”

 

“I don’t mind if you act more friendly with me too. …… What?”

 

When I looked at Nihama’s face, I saw that it was covered in sweat.

 

It’s not only that.

 

An anguished voice escaped from his mouth.

 

“Ni, Nihama-kun! What’s wrong?”

 

“Uh, ah, ah, …… ah, …….”

 

The anguished look on his face immediately made me realize that he was having a nightmare.

 

　And it seems to be a very terrible one.

 

“…………!”

 

　I quickly and gently touched his cheek.

 

When I calmly thought about it later, I probably should have woken up Nihama-kun immediately, but at that time, all I could think about was doing this.

 

I wanted to send him the warmth of a human through my touch, just like my mother always did when I was having a bad day as a child.

 

It’s not a nightmare that Nihama-kun should be having.

 

A person who works so hard and does so many things does not deserve to be unhappy even if it is in his dream.

 

“It should be …… a happy dream that you must see, Nihama-kun!”

 

I wrapped both of my palms around Nihama-kun’s cheeks in order to increase the transmission of warmth as much as possible.

 

Hoping that his suffering will be eased, even if only a little.

 

◇　　◇　　◇

 

I can hear Shijoin-san’s voice.

 

I  can feel Shijoin-san’s warmth.

 

Ah, if she’s out there, then the answer is already obvious.

 

This is definitely not real.

 

“This is just a nightmare, isn’t it?”

 

The feeling of emptiness that I had felt earlier easily disappeared, and I felt ashamed of myself for being so distraught over this obvious nightmare.

 

Or rather, when I recognized it as a dream and looked at it calmly, it was full of holes.

 

The scenery of the company was blurry in the parts I remembered vaguely.

 

“Hey, Nihama, what are you mumbling about ……?”

 

“Only the Chief’s details are accurate. That’s how traumatic he was.”

 

Well, it’s best to wake up from this nightmare, but first.

 

“Hey, are you listening to me, you piece of shit? I’m going to make you do my share of the work so you can grow, so get to work!　If you slack off even a little bit, I’ll give you another pay cut.

 

“Shut up, you idiot!”

 

When I yelled in front of him, the man in his fifties with the crooked face widened his eyes and lost his voice.

 

I’m going to say everything that I’ve been holding back in my previous life.

 

“You fat, fat, fat piece of shit Chief! You smoke too much and your breath smells like cigarettes! You’re always giving unreasonable orders to others, while you’re the epitome of incompetence who can’t do anything on your own! If you’re going to talk big, why don’t you try working consecutive days instead!”   

 

The Chief began to tremble as I let out the resentment that had always been swirling in my chest.

 

Haha, you’re just a nightmare and you’re all pissed off.

 

“How dare you …… talk to me like that! Do you think you’ll be able to do your job properly in the future, ……, ……?”

 

The Chief’s voice faltered as he approached me, while cracking his knuckles.

 

If you think about it, this is not a nightmare, but a very good dream.

 

“After all, if it was in my dream, I wouldn’t be fired or prosecuted. Your luck just ran out when you appeared in someone’s dream.”

 

I approached the Chief with a very nice smile on my face.

 

It’s too late to back away now.

 

“Wait ……! Stop ……!”

“I’ve had a long-standing grudge ……! F**k you!”

 

I clenched my fists and lunged at the asshole who once made me want to vomit just by looking at him.

 

◇　　◇　　◇

 

” Good, I didn’t know it would have such an effect. ……”

 

I wrapped my hands around Nihama-kun’s cheeks on impulse, not expecting it to help. But for some reason, the effect was great, and Nihama-kun immediately returned to a peaceful sleep.

 

“This will help you to feel at ease, Nihama-kun …Eh?”

 

After his anguished expression disappeared, Nihama-kun started saying, “Mmm …… go f**k yourself ……” in his sleep while twisting his body.

 

Then his body began to slide off the seat more and more,……, and finally he fell on the floor, which made me panic.

 

“Oh, are you okay, Nihama-kun? What …… are you still sleeping ……?”

 

Nihama-kun, who had fallen down on the floor of the classroom, was still breathing soundly in his sleep.

 

I guess he must be very tired if this doesn’t wake him up.

 

I can’t leave it like this,…… so …… excuse me for a moment……..

 

I sat down on the floor and placed Nihama-kun’s head on my lap.

 

It should allow him to sleep a little more comfortably than using his bag as a pillow.

 

(Wow. …… I didn’t think it would be a big deal to put his head on my lap, but …… having Nihama-kun’s face around my stomach is kind of like… … it makes me feel strange. ……)

 

“Hmm ……, is that ……?”

 

“Oh, ……, did it wake you up, Nihama-kun?”

 

“Oh, this time properly ……, …… today …….”

 

I thought he was awake and tried to call out to him, but his words sounded vague.

 

It seemed like his consciousness hadn’t fully awakened and he was in a sleepy state.

 

“Can you understand me? I’m Shijoin. Nihama-kun has fallen asleep in the classroom. ……”

 

“Oh ……, it’s Shijoin-san. ……”

 

Nihama-kun calling my name was like an infant, so innocent.

 

I think he probably doesn’t know much about the situation.

 

(Hmmm, Nihama-kun …… now, you’re kind of cute like a child)

 

“Hmm ……? It’s a knee pillow. …… It feels soft. ……”

 

“Oh, this is …… because Nihama-kun fell down on the floor. ……”

 

I was suddenly embarrassed by the situation of having a conversation with Nihama-kun’s while his head was on my lap, and I couldn’t help but utter some sort of excuse.

 

“Oh, it feels good …… and it smells good …….”

 

“～～～～～～?”

 

My face turned bright red.

 

Today I was sweating a lot during my shift at the Takoyaki Cafe.

 

When I thought that Nihama-kun was smelling my sweaty scent, I felt a huge amount of shame.

 

“What is that …… thing? …… It’s like I had a terrible dream or something. …… Oh well… …”

 

Nihama-kun muttered, still looking sleepy.

 

It seems that he was having a nightmare after all, but I guess it’s okay if he doesn’t remember.

 

“Oh, you’re beautiful after all ….”

 

“Eh! What are you talking about!?”

 

Nihama-kun is probably almost unconscious right now because he’s still sleepy.

 

But just like the time I went to school with him, his words struck a chord in my heart.

 

I don’t know why I’m so happy when Nihama-kun compliments me.

 

“But …… this isn’t a dream either, is it ……?”

 

“Eh….”

 

“I wonder if Shijoin-san is …… within my reach …….”

 

The voice was so thin that it was hard to believe it was coming from Nihama-kun, who is always positive and works hard at everything.

 

Seeing him like this, I thought.

 

The shy Nihama-kun before and the one who spoke clearly and confidently.

 

It doesn’t matter which one is the true Nihama-kun, because I’m sure both of them are Nihama-kun.

 

(I don’t know why Nihama-kun, who can do anything like that, is so anxious. ……But–)　

 

“Yes, I’m here.”

 

As I did earlier, I touched his cheek to erase his anxiety.

 

“I’m here by your side, Nihama-kun. So–“

 

You worked very hard today.

 

I’m sure that what you want will not go anywhere.

 

“Don’t worry, you can sleep a little longer.”

 

“Oh, I see, thank you …… and …….”

 

After I told him that, he began to breathe soundly and fell asleep again.

 

“I’m sure you’re very tired, Nihama-kun. Please sleep soundly for a little while longer.”

 

As I looked out of the window, I saw that the sun had gone down and it was getting darker.

 

There was not a lot of time left for us to stay in school, but I wanted to stay like this until then.

 

In the quiet classroom, where the noise of the afternoon had vanished like a lie, I kept watching the sleeping face of the man who had worked so hard, with Nihama-kun’s head in my lap.

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